Dejavu, like in most things, everything with "too much" ...is too much. Too much alone is not healthy and too much social life is not healthy. There is a happy medium. I've yet to find that medium myself. I chalk it up to the fact that I work too much, and when we have time off Hubby and I usually do things together. I know, though, as soon as I stop working, I'm going to do like Chatty does and join writing clubs, art clubs ...oh I think I'll be busier then, than now. I've also found it's not healthy to depend on your children for your social life. That can become a burden for them, and they tend to draw back.

I don't find my reclusivness TOO MUCH at all. I enjoy it, and I don't think it's unhealthy. It's my choice. Who is to say it is unhealthy for me? I see my friends when I want to, I see my children and grandchildren when I want to, and I come and go as I please. Why should I let society or anyone else's idea of "too much" dictate what I do? I totally disagree. It's a matter of choice and I've earned that choice.

JJ

Since moving, I haven't ventured out that much. I need to make some new girlfriends and get involved in something...anything! But then, I've had electricians and repair men here off and on that I have to either wait on to show up or wait while they do the work.

I'm with JJ. If I want to be alone, it's my right and at my age and after raising four kids and running a business, etc. I've earned it! I had a very "loud" business, a DQ, and the machines running all day along with the other noise, was enough to drive one nuts. I still have dreams where I'm forced to work there for the new owners and they aren't pleasant dreams.

I absolutely agree with you JJ! As a matter of fact,I was just thinking those very same thoughts last night as I pondered about the post saying it was unhealthy to be too reclusivness. I said to myself, that I felt perfectly normal & I didn't feel reclusive about being at home most of the time. I didn't feel strange, odd, or unhealthy at all. I do visit my family on occasion, but I am no social butterfly neither. It feels peaceful. I like my own company!

Okay... I left the forum to get dressed and do my hair and make-up before posting.

The best reason I can find for becoming reclusive...not leaving the house or answering the door...is that I don't have to wear a bra! I am getting to the point that I would rather take a beating than put on a bra. They pinch, they bite and they grab...oh, wait that's when I go out without one...ooops!

Seriously, I ususally get dressed and made-up everyday even if I'm staying at home. I like doing it just for me not because I have to.

And although there are times that I wish I still had a rambunctious family in the house there are times like yesterday when I got home after a speaking engagement and it was just me and the cat and the couch...heaven.

JJ, of course it's everyone's own choice. I was just directing my post to Dejavu, who is worried that she may become "too reclusive".
And I was just stating what is right for me.
I def. miss having a circle of close girlfriends, and sometimes feel blue because I don't have that. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being alone. I have a stressful job, and need the peace and quiet to tank up in bewteen.
The difference between our lives is; you have a choice. You have the choice of being alone or visiting with friends. I don't have that choice. I'm not saying we don't have any friends, but it's not that "sister" closeness, which I sometimes miss.

I hate that you don't have a close girlfriend Hannelore. I think everybody needs that "special" friend they can complain to, cry out to, laugh with, and give/take advice. Bless your heart. What about the women you work with? No one a candidate?

rEMEMBER....you have lots of girlfriends here! JJ

JJ and others, definitely, the 'too much' in reclusiveness is something I feel about ME, not defining what is too much for anyone else.

I agree that the "too much" is a very subjective definition that will not only differ for each person, but will change from one day to the next, depending on circumstances and mind-space.

A year ago, I was definitely "too" reclusive. I knew it. I knew I was withering away in here and that I needed balance. It was hard work, and took guts and discipline (and lots of wisdom and support from everyone here), but I slowly got myself out the front door and back "out there" for walks and shopping.

Now, I stay indoors almost as much as I did a year ago, but now it's MY CHOICE - and it's no longer "too much". Reclusiveness has changed into solitude - but I also can recognize now when the solitude has changed back into reclusiveness withdrawal and becomes "too much" for me. I'm also recognizing that that fine line between "too much" and "just right" keeps changing as I keep growing (and/or regressing) in my ability to both enjoy getting back out there and to equally enjoy my solitude in healthy serenity. The balance will be different for each person.