Dotsie, it is hard to say how she is - her mental illness is so pervasive in her life. I still have conversations with what I know to be her "others", but I no longer acknowledge "them" while we speak. I have mixed feelings about the whole MPD diagnosis. She is on a huge cocktail of 'anti-just about everything' drugs.

Her daughter recently had a baby. Shortly before the birth, she told my friend that she could only be around the baby as herself - her "others" were not to be present around the baby. My friend was upset by this, but she has put so many limitations on her own mother's participation in her life, it was kind of a case of 'full circle'.

She is functioning quite well, still in flashback therapy 3 times a week. I can always tell when she is still in the flashback after having her here for those months.

It can be really freaky having conversations with multiple persons all coming out of the same mouth. Each one has distinct facial expressions, handwriting and mannerisms. One of "them" actually stole my car once. "They" returned to her own home once and had a tea party (table was set for at least 4) before returning to me and several of "them" telling me about it.

This all took a lot of concentration and energy to deal with. There were nights I had to curl up with her, holding her in my arms like a child, to get her to sleep. The child in her was afraid of her dead father finding her.

My dh and sons were angels through it all. This all happened right at the beginning of harvest, so I was unable to run the machines as much as I would have normally. There were several times I HAD to swath or combine and had to take her with me like a child because I couldn't leave her alone.

Once when I told my cousin, a retired mental health professional, that it often seemed as though she wanted to just crawl under my skin and be me. He said, "No, it is your womb she wants to be in." That kind of scared me and creeped me out for a while.

I look back and still can't see an alternative for her at the time. As a result, she and I have a depth to our friendship that happens rarely in a person's lifetime. She has a heart of gold beneath all the layers of illness. My deepest wish for her is to be able to put it all behind her and live in the day but realistically, I just don't see that happening.

Chatty, I would dearly love to personally strangle all those who caused this brutal hell that she lives in!