In reading all of your posts, I notice that Christmas brings up what is missing even more than what we have. That is true for me too.

I have two children (and at least one turned out great...well, the other one did too but he's on and off again in terms of speaking to me and letting me see the grandchildren...that's hard this holiday in particular with my Mom having died this year).

But I have never had a truly loving (or even half-way decent) relationship with a man, including not having a father around growing up. I tend to notice the happy couples out shopping together--even if he's slumped in a chair looking grim.

My daughter, who lives with me at the moment, was out with a friend yesterday so I went out to lunch by myself (every last one of my single friends has suddenly become coupled, each with the love of their life...now how did THAT happen!). I went to the new Bing Crosby restaurant and piano bar (those Christmas melodies do sound better on a REAL piano) and had a yummy meal. But I was definitely the ONLY person in the restaurant there by herself.

At times like that, I try to remember my prayer over twenty years ago that if God could just help me out of an abusive alcoholic marriage, even if I had to be alone the rest of my life, that I would be forever grateful.

Scott Peck in his classic book The Road Less Traveled said that maturity is a matter of learning to accept all of our losses. I am trying, especially this year, to add graciousness to that acceptance...and gratitude for still having my health, my children, and my sense of humor. And knowing that so many other women out there share the same struggles and victories.

Doctor Karen.......you are an inspiring model for all the single ladies in this world.
I've been married 41 years, but still feel alone when it comes to a man.
We pretty much just pass each other around the house.
BUT...my dtrs. and grandson's help me get thru the wonderful Christmas holiday.
God blessed me with a great dtrs. who decided to move back to Olympia and keep our family together.
Couldn't ask for much more!
Wishing you hope, love, and peace of mind.
Lynne

Doc Karen, M.Scott Peck's first book helped to change my attitude about life. I learned from him that life is not meant to be perfect. God never promised happiness to us and since sin exists in the world, we just have to do the best we can with what we have. I appreciate very much the snippets of happiness that come my way.

I'm also feeling a little lonely. But last year I had just ended a relationship with a controlling guy and I was so thrilled to be alone!

I'm sure you don't have to be alone, but choose to because you don't want to settle for Mr. Wrong. I've been single for 15 years and have been in more than a few relationships, but the ones who liked me, I didn't like and the ones I fell for didn't feel the same about me. I don't know why it happens that way. For the past year I've had a few dates, but not with any keepers. Within the past week I've met 2 guys I could be interested in. And one of them even sleeps with his dog and has a diabetic cat he cares for (I look for character traits like that). I don't know if anything will happen with either of these guys, but it's so rare that I meet anyone I would even take notice of.

Daisygirl

Suzie, I was so sad for you while reading the first two paragraphs, but what a blessed ending! I so believe if God's magic and am so grateful He's at work within you and your family. I pray that Christmas spirit hangs around long enough that everyoen realizes the gift is every day. All we need to do is grasp it and hang onto it.

It always amazes me even today with my sons grown how much pleasure they bring into our lives and how they can change a dark mood into a day filled with sunshine with only a smile, a hug or a sweet word....

I wonder if God feels that way about His children. I hope so. Even though there are times when I'm sure I disappoint Him, He forgives and blesses just the same.

smile

Smile, I think He does. And your comment about Him forgiving us and blessing us is exactly what we do with our kids over and over again. That's unconditional love.

For anyone with depression, do you also feel it more on new years eve?

After we stopped going out for new years eve and before we had children, I always felt down on this night. I felt like something was missing or we were missing something by being at home. Truthfully though, I haven't felt that way in more than 20 years now, but just wondered how it affects you.

[ December 30, 2005, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

Doesn't bother me a bit to stay home on NY's eve.
Every day is new, having a new year doesn''t phase me much.

I'm having a New Year's Eve party.

Like I posted somewhere else, it's like starting a hospital with all the diets, addictions and ailments that afflict us boomers nowadays. But I'm doing it anyway.

I'm inviting a lot of young people too though in case all us boomers go into diabetic coma, suffer kidney failure, experience alcholic psychosis, and have cardiac arrests.

I figure the young folks can revive us so we can go on wth the party.

smile