I've never been a fan of those Christmas letters, either.

I really like what Chatty just said. There's no way I can say it as eloquently as she did, so I won't try. I do have a number of friends who are childless for a veriety of reasons. They are not the ones I talk to about my kids -- unless they ask, which some of them do.

I agree that Christmas is for all of us.

Di, why don't you just tell these friends who keep mentioning children how you feel? You then would not have to feel wounded so much. I realize there are some people you don't know that well who will mention it, but at least the people you know will stop torturing you.

I'm all for being real.

Daisygirl

Thanks, Daisygirl.

But I really dont' want them feeling sorry for me if they are in the midst of joy for their own. Honestly, I really AM excited to hear about growing families........especially those whom I've know for so long.

It's just the reminders of what I don't have but I do that to myself. Nobody's fault but my own, really.

Di, I get those yearly newsletters too.

Some are very sincere and others want to make me gag with the amount of bragging that is done in them. Some of the boasting is so ludicrously overdone! It's amazing to me that after reading it they don't edit it to something that sounds normal.

Di, not everyone has great kids either. Our friends always boasted about theirs and we later found out their son was partying, doing drugs and flunking out of the prestigious college they spent a fortune to send him to. The father finally had to go down to the college and bring his son home.

Then there's the 80 year old woman whose son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren will have nothing to do with. The grandma pays for their expensive private schools here. The grandma is afraid to let the daughter-in-law see her new stove because she remembers how she got scolded for buying a much needed new furnace for her home. Now, when grandma runs out of money do you suppose these louses will take her in? I think not. I realize not all children turn out like this but there are plenty of them to go around.

I send out a Christmas letter with my cards, just to family and close friends. I sent a letter around in the summer years ago informing everyone that I was going to discontinue the Christmas letter as of that year. I got so many letters and phone calls back pleading with me not to discontinue it, that I'm still sending it out...but only to the people who have told me they still want one.

I guess I'm old fashioned. I often include handwritten updates in my cards. And I don't mind getting those letters from family and friends. I do mind them from people I barely know, talking about their families I've never met. I'm not sure why, but that used to bother me. I haven't seen one in several years, so maybe ignoring those people made them go away.

I always write something in each of my cards too letting close friends know what's going on.

I do enjoy Christmas letters but not the kind that are overly boasting such as: We had such a hard time bargaining with the Mexicans on the beach this year in Puerto Vallarta, blah, blah, blah.

I really don't need to know about the vacation details. I think you get the idea of what I mean by overly boastful letters.

Ladybug on this boasting letter junk I am with you completely. Most of this stuff is lies which makes them feel better about their mediocre lives and kids. I do enjoy the truthful ones buy those are few and far between. Who wants to write, "we are pretty happy, not broke but struggling, I'm too fat, the kids smoke pot or are C students or just average nice kids," whatever, LOL.....I send Christmas cards and hand wrte a nice little heartfelt note or if nothing heartfelt, then just a signature...Who really cares about their vacations, new this or that, really!!!!

Chatty, I wish you could've seen the Christmas newsletter I got from my cousin. I cannot believe the bragging and melodramatic content of the entire letter. I would've been ashamed to put such drivel and bull in a letter to anyone! I'm glad to hear you agree. I wasn't making that comment up about her vacation either. It was taken word for word.

Her news about her children would've made you think they were up for the next Pulitzer Prize as well.

[ December 23, 2005, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

suzieq, I'm so sorry for all the death surronding your holidays. What do you do to change the focus? That must be hard. Just going to the cemetery for my mom is tough enough at Christmas. Christmas was her favorite time of the year.

The one good thing about those letters is the fact that the people who do them have a little running history of their family life. I've never done a letter, but I wouldn't mind looking back on them now.

Someone gave me a Christmas album. In it you write the events of the year and include the Christmas card you sent and a family picture. I did it for about three years and now it's in a drawer or closet with all the unfinished baby books. Sigh!

[ December 24, 2005, 10:12 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]