Hi Sugaree,

New to this forum, but I can so relate to your childhood memories. In my case it was a uncle. Years and years... I kept it completely hidden. Then, in my 30's it could no longer be contained. Through therapy I learned to write everything I was feeling down, get it out. As it appears you have been doing.
Finally, was able to tell my mom....her first words were "don't tell your dad, he will kill him". Sounded good to me.
Dad had an extremely short fuse, very controlling, physcially abusive himself. My mom was the first to pass, so my secret remained untold, by promise to her.
Day it came out was right after my dad was buried, (same day in fact). One of my cousins had a little girl, he was sitting close telling his mom how my uncle had offered to watch his little girl afternoons. Well...that was it, all of it came out. Come to find out he had even abused his youngest sister (who still has trouble coping), his young daughter from his first marriage, and who knows who else.
Did write him a letter, just to pour out all the emotions I felt. He denied all of it. He died years later of cancer.
Just a few years ago I was able to forgive him. Forgave, so I might be forgiven.
Why does this happen? To make sure it doesn't happen to my children, grandchildren, great grand children or any child around me, (looking back I really didn't hide those emotions) sometimes I think it make us more aware of young children & their emotions.
That saying is so true....."Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".
You are safe now, and healing. My prayers are with you, & all the many others who have faced, or are now facing, abuse of any form. Lets all stand together, in knowledge, love, and prayer to rid the world of such hate.

Brenda