Lynnie, I can understand your reluctance to get a massage - I've never been abused but was always too "hyper-vigilent" and nervous about being inappropriately touched to enjoy going for massage therapy before. Even after such an enjoyable massage experience with this particular therapist, I still tend to be cautious.

But I've been trying to convince my brother to go. He's torn. He would definitely enjoy a gentle soothing massage, but not a rough one - even if it was meant to be therapeutic. I think he just doesn't want to take the chance right now. Maybe after a few more chemo treatments!
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When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)