Blondi, I had the very same experience with antidepressants after a car accident several years ago. I became clinically depressed. After a few days on Serzone, the clouds moved and I began to feel like myself again. It was absolutely amazing. After the first bottle ran out, I didn't renew because I felt so good. After a few days, the creepies started coming back so I refilled like my doctor advised me to do in the first place. I took it for about a year and then weaned off. Fortunately, I've never had to take medication again and I've been through a couple major surgeries and Mom's death. I find total peace in knowing what worked because I wouldn't hesitate to take it again if the blues returned full-force.

Eagle, how are you doing? Are you taking the meds?

Dotsie, I won't be able to get in to see the doctor for a few days, so am not taking the meds yet. But I'm relatively okay...having been here so many times before, I know the drill and know not to panic or let this sadness spiral me too far down out of control. I'm actually quite able to keep my head above the waters this time, which might be contributing to my hesitation to take the meds...maybe I'm hoping it won't be severe enough to require medication.

BTW, this is my first relapse of depression since joining this community (although it's possibly still a remnant of the grief and depression I experienced after my Mom died) - but I think being here is making a huge difference in my ability to keep myself grounded, prepared and honest.

I've been hesitating to go back on the meds because of the side effects I suffered the last time. But like Sherri, I know I've suffered from depression (chronic dysthemia is the term the doctor uses) my entire life - I can remember being conscious of the enduring sadness as early as eight years old). So I know in my head that anti-depressants are a part of my life, like insulin would be if I were a diabetic.

I'm a victim of my own denial and wishful thinking...even after all these years, and writing the book, and knowing what I know about depression, I still want to be able to "beat" this thing through willpower and lifestyle choices. But it's just not always do-able. And that's nothing to be ashamed about, not so much the depression itself or the need to go on meds, but the inability to fight it on my own...if I were diabetic or had cancer, I wouldn't expect myself to battle the diseases without meds, so why do I balk at battling THIS disease of anxiety and depression with meds!

[ June 12, 2006, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Eagle,
Please do NOT balk at taking meds to fight your depression...and you know all of the reasons because you have listed them all quite succinctly in your post...you are a very intelligent woman...and so you know that "willpower" can't heal your depression...in my opinion, antidepressants are like the other "miracle" drugs that we have seen come on the market in our lifetime...Antibiotics..Vaccines, Anti statins...medications taken to prolong and enhance our lives...I feel so fortunate that my doctor recognized my depression for what it was and prescribed an antidepressant for me...and after I realized the great results I feel no hesitation in singing the praises of the antidepressant drug to anyone who might benefit from taking them too.Shame? never..Relief?yes...huge relief...I hope you feel that same way soon Dear Friend...listen to your heart...and let your doctor figure out the rest...and please...never leave us...we need you here with us as much as you say you need to be here...

Dotsie...I am so glad you found relief after your terrible car accident...and I am so happy to know that you haven't been depressed since then...

I think that Eagle helped me by posting as she has. I have been trying to reduce my prozac, and today I am so down, partly because of "kids" situations. Maybe tho it has to do with cutting my meds in half. What was I thinking?

Thanks,

Sherri

Stressful times...like your sons being deployed, aren't the times to cut down on your prozac Sherri...I know how upset you must be feeling...give yourself permission to stay on them until you no longer feel so "down"...I hope you feel alot better soon though...here's a big ((((hug))))...wish I could do more....

I know this is such a difficult subject as society looks at people who have to take anti-depressants as odd. It's hard to ignore when you know you're getting the help you need and it's working for you. I look at taking anti-depressants as like someone who takes insulin for diabetes. I need a little help and it's not my fault for needing it. It's just my chemistry. Something is lacking and through a certain medication I'm feeling so much better.

I hope one day that I won't need it anymore, but if it's part of my daily routine, who cares? It's been a long road for me with an uncaring doctor and when I took a stand for myself with the information that an independent doctor suggested, my life started to turn around. I still have a nagging hint of depression and anxiety, but I'm so much better than I have been in so long.

Just hang in there and believe in yourself. You have so much to experience and enjoy yet. I had lost that drive before I got the proper help.

I hope this helps encouraging others to not settle for less if you're not happy with what your doctor is doing. Talk, talk, talk to him/her and if they don't listen, seek someone who will.

All my best,
Jan1

The way I see it is this: If you were diabetic, you would take your medication for that disease. We who have a chemical imbalance in our brain need medication for that, too, if that is what the doctor says.

I know I went for years with depression before I got brave enough to admit it to a doctor and get the Effexor for it. I feel so much better now.

I've become very dogmatic with my doctor. She put me on a preventative for migraines and I started studying the side effects and they weren't good. I told her I was going to wean off of them. It was scary to know I could possibly end up with severe vision problems and they killed my stomach!

The only problem I've ever heard about with Effexor is coming off of it. You have to be really careful and do it with your doctor's guidance.

That's probably part of what scares me, Dianne. I was on Effexor at the beginning of my last bout of depression, for close to a year I think. At one point the doctor and I decided to switch to Wellbutrin. She looked it up in some book she had and then told me I could stop taking the Effexor one day, skip a day, and start taking the Wellbutrin the third day.

WELL, words cannot possibly express how utterly horrific that was...my skin felt extremely jittery, I became bizarrely agitated, enraged and very suicidal...it was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was right about then that I finally got in to see my therapist. He told me that coming off Effexor cold turkey was reputed to be worse than coming cold turkey off heroin and/or crack and he was amazed that I survived without being admitted to hospital.

It makes me very leery of going back on any drugs for an extended length of time again.

Yes, that definitely is a huge problem - coming off of it. You have to do it under a doctor's supervision.

Eagle Heart, that's really scary what you went through. It makes me wonder which is worse, the disease or the cure!