Bipolar disorder is sometimes referred to as a set of symptoms. They last for a length of time, usually considered an "episode", that have a beginning phase, the worst phase, and a recovery phase.
Those of us with bipolar would consider these as "life experiences."
(Taken from The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz) Bipolar is a mood disorder. Mood swings occur between two "poles", a high and a low. In the manic "high" stage people experience different combinations of the following: elated or euphoric mood (excessive happiness or expansiveness.) irritable mood (excessive anger and touchiness), a decreased need for sleep, grandiosity or an inflated sense of themselves and their abilities, increased talkativeness, racing thoughts or jumping from one idea to another, an increase in activity and energy levels, changes in thinking, attention, and perception, and impulsive, reckless behavior. These kinds of episodes alternate with depressed behavior. Being sad, blue, or "Down in the dumps", losing interest in things he or she ordinarily enjoyed, losing weight and appetite, feeling fatigued, difficulty sleeping (or sleeping too much) feelings of guilt and feeling bad about him/herself. Trouble concentrating or making decisions and often feels like committing suicide. (end of excerpt)
Now, I can help expand on this "committing suicide" thing. It doesn't have to mean taking some pills or using a gun. It can mean indirectly as well. Putting yourself in situations where you "wish" that an accident would happen and you would die. Like getting into a car accident so you could die. This means that the person might not pay as close attention to their driving as they usually would and could get into an accident. They may start speeding a lot and driving recklessly.
They may start hanging around people they wouldn't normally and getting into situations or confrontations with people in hopes to insue a fight or some type of commotion.
When in a manic stage some people feel giddy or mildly irritable. They might go on spending sprees and begin impulsive behavior they wouldn't normally do like acting out sexually. This person may suddenly want to go clubbing all the time when they're "normally" a quiet introspective person.
For me personally, I start to talk a lot when I'm moving into a manic phase. I'll get very verbose and drive my husband absolutely crazy.
Or the manic phase can come on with irritability and a sense of paranoia and high anxiety. I'll suddenly be afraid of everything and anything. I won't drive for fear of getting into an accident. I won't go out and get my mail from the mail box because I think someone is watching me.
I don't go into full manic anymore. My meds take care of that for me. But, for someone unmedicated and uncontrollable, their manic stage can lapse over into full blown paranoia and dillusional behavior.
I'm very intuned to what is going on and can usually figure out my mood very quickly. I have additional meds for these to help stabilize along with the ones I take on a daily basis. They work rather well and I won't go anywhere without them.
Before I was diagnosed I went through approximately 5 or 6 years in a full manic phase which then swung into a depression that lasted for a couple of years. It took over a year to find the right combination of meds and doses to make me stable. I trust my doctor and he knows my complete history.
I know what Smile is saying about side effects, but for me, the cost of not being on the meds is too high. I'm not willing to pay that price.
[ May 19, 2005, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]