I believe quality of life is key. When one takes medication for mental illness the quality of life must be better than without the meds. If not, try someting else. We have to be self advocates.

absolutely. My quality of life is so much better while I'm on meds than if I weren't. I know that. I accept that. And, I deal with that. I don't let taking meds become the center of my life. And, I don't go blurting out to every tom, dick, and harry that I'm bipolar and must be treated "carefully". Hardly anyone knows. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I don't want to be treated differently than everyone else. I realize there is a stigma with mental illness. I don't want to get caught up in it. I feel like I'm just like anyone else and want to be treated as such.

I share with my friends here because I feel like I can help someone with my experiences and knowledge. And, I feel comfortable enough to know that you won't be biased and apply stereotypes to me or my illness.

Thanks for everyones imput. I'm feeling very discouraged these days. My husband is so depressed and not wanting to go to work (he doesn't get paid if he doesn't go) I faxed a note to his Drs today hoping they can maybe change his meds around or something. He needs to learn how to live with this illness and not let it overtake him. I'm hoping his Dr. may want to see him before his next month appt. We're suppose to get tog. with friends for dinner so at least that will get him out of the house for a little while.. That's if he doesn't change his mind. He has to eat though. I do make sure he eats right and takes vitamins.. etc. besides his meds. I keep praying Lord help us... we just don't seem to be going up out of this desert experience right now.. Its getting really old!!!

Mammajude--when my daughter was first diagnosed, I was possessed with anxiety. I was running interference between her and the school, her and the doctor, her and the world. (She was a young adult.) I worried constantly about her safety and her health, then wondered: "Who else in the world knows about this kind of fear?" Somewhere within me, I got the response: "Families of alcoholics do. They know about feeling over-responsible and helpless and scared of the next crisis."

I attended a 12-Step group for awhile, and found a lot of strength and wisdom there. I learned a lot about living one day at a time, turning loose of the things I couldn't control, and detaching with love.

Bipolar people who are not in appropriate therapy behave a lot like alcoholics who are drinking. (When you think about it, they are under the influence of their own flawed brain chemistry). 12 Step groups are available in most every community. Al-Anon groups often don't want to admit people who are not struggling specifically with alcohol abuse in the family--but Co-dependents Anonymous might be a possibility. And your NAMI group might have a support group geared to the needs of family members of "noncompliant" (eg: untreated) people with Bipolar Disorder.

I so agree with what Vicki said. The stigma against mental illness is great, and it's important to be descrete about what gets shared with whom. The task isn't to claim any kind of special status in the world--it's to get balanced and realistic about what is needed in order to get on with the business of living. Mammajude, I hope you'll go out to dinner with those friends, whether or not your husband chooses to go with you. Sounds like you deserve a break!

Well last night my husband finally got some much needed sleep. His Dr. adjusted his meds again so we're hoping and praying that helps a lot. We went to dinner with our friends and went to our Home Fellowship group. He'll get out if I go with him. He also went back to work yesterday. Thank God. Just wish his bosse's boss would understand. He works for a Christian organization and this guy just doesn't get it and doesn't want to get it. He says things like "Does Tom still want his job" etc... He's the one who demoted my husband and took his benefits away. Nice guy, huh? Think theres a discriminatroy case there...don't you think? The reason he stays at the job is cuz its not a real stressful job. Its hard to find a job when your bipolar that can keep your stress levels down. We started reading together a book that "Unique" suggested for us to read called "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. Excellent book!!! I'm so glad the Lord lead you to tell us about this book. I recommend it for everyone to read!!!! Thanks so much!!!! I am taking care of myself. I'm taking a refresher class through NAMI called the Family to Family class. Its great. There is going to be a NAMI walk in San Diego coming up. We need to get the word out and STOP THE STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS... Love you guys and thanks for your input...

Mamajude,
For your own heart, I hope you can forgive your husband's employer. Maybe he is simply stressed by his concern for your husband and for the company as a whole.
You need all of your energy for fighting your husband's disease. He is so very blessed to have you for a partner. It sounds as if you have taken on his illness with a vengance and you're not going to let go until it is beaten. With prayer and patience, I am sure you will win. Your patience and love is a blessing to us all.
smile

thanks Smile... I appreciate all of your prayers and encouragement. I try my best to be a good wife and support and Love my husband. It is very frustrating at times but I know with God's help we'll make it through..

I know if I were hurting as your husband is, I would pray to God to send me someone as thorough, kind, and tender hearted as you. What a blessing that would be. I would then know I could make it.

God bless you hon...JJ

Without my meds, I would have committed suicide. My medication and my therapist and you wonderful people keep me going. Thank you.

mamma, please be sure to take time for yourself too. Take a bubble bath, read a book, watch a funny movie, get together with some girlfriends, or whatever it takes to get some relief.