Oh wow...go to Daphne's site. She has a ton of valuable information. It's so nice to have her here to offer her wise advice!

Dotsie--Some aspects of Julie's book, Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, are helpful, but the focus seems to be on the "sickness" to the exclusion of the impact of healthy relationships in staying well. It may be better suited for spouses or partners of people who are severely out or control or non-compliant with treatment. But I find it rather condescending, and I don't recommend it to families much.

Bipolar people get marginalized when every problem in a relationship is attributed to their disorder. Mood disordered folks are often quite intuitive. They may accurately sense things that others miss, but be unclear as to how to respond appropriately or constructively. Nobody--ill or not--needs to disregard their feelings or abandon themselves, and people with challenges like ADHD and bipolar disorder often already have a history of feeling like "the problem." Healing comes in learning to honor our perceptions, acknowledge our limitations, stay open to possiblity, and treat ourselves and others well. But I think that's true of most folks anyway.

Resources I like: Kay Redfield Jamison's work on bipolar disorder is phenomenal. Dr. Jamison is a psychologist who is herself bipolar. Her autobiography An Unquiet Mind chronicles years of struggling with the disease, her experience with treatment, and an appeal for public enlightenment and expanding research and treatment options. She's also co-written a definitive text (very technical, but used by clinicians, as well as an intriguing study about the relationship between bipolor disorder and creativity, and several other things.

Two other books: The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David Miklowitz, Ph.D., and Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families by Francis Mark Mondimore. Both are thorough,clinically sound, and deeply respectful of patients and their families.

Dianne, thanks for your comments on my site. I always welcome feedback, and am glad you found it helpful.

Dianne, you are so right about Daphne's site. I was hoping people had already visited it when she was the featured author.

Hello again... I have Julie Fast's book and help cards. I have read everything that is out there to read about Bipolar Disorder. I took the 12 week NAMI family to family class.. I continue to read everything I can on the subject. I am going to take the training to teach the Family to Family class. Education is the key!!! For everyone!!! I don't agree with everything that Julie says and does either but she sure has some good points in dealing with this disorder.. Yes you do suffer from it that's for sure. Last night my husband and I went to our Home Fellowship group through church. They laid hands on both of us and prayed for us. Its nice to have that support. My husband is med complient. After 3 hospital stays and going on and off meds.. He finally realized he has to stay on them!! Thank God. This happens with most people who have this. He is an easy going guy, very loving. Not angry or mean. I hear so many stories of their loved ones being so gruel. My husband always tells me he loves me and appreciates me for hanging in there with him. I feel at the end of my rope a lot of times cuz depression can be so draining for all concerned but God does help us through these dark times. He has two Christian Drs he sees on a regular basis which is great. Even though a person is on meds you still have ups and downs.. Its learning how to deal with those and learning to live with this illness. Not letting it take over, etc... Its hard work. Exercise is sooo good.. We're working on that one right now. I could go on and on. Its a struggle and God only knows why we are in this situation...I think its to help others. God Bless....

I agree! Education is the key. And you're right, Mammajude, that even with education and compliance the mood and energy fluctuations of bipolar disorder are a challenge. I'm glad to hear that your husband is on board with treatment, that you have MDs you can trust, and that you have a supportive church community.

You'll do a great service by teaching the Family-to-Family course. NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) is one of the greatest education/advocacy groups out there. They are challenging stigma, educating the public, supporting families, and encouraging consumers (eg: people wtih mental illness). A great group.

Mental illness can be hell when we encounter it in ourselves or our family members. At the same time, it challenges us to know ourselves, to find meaning, to have compassion for others, and to encounter God in people and places that we might otherwise miss. Who knows the "why" of our particular afflictions? The fact is that we're learning new things about the brain every day. I'm thankful to be living in a time when so many treatment innovations are unfolding.

Blessings to you for your willingness to learn, and the grace to share what you know.

Thanks I really appreciate all the support in these forums.
Glad its FRIDAY.. YEAH>>. Happy Weekend everyone....

Mamajude, As you are educating yourself about your husband's disease, I hope you won't neglect to research your husband's medication. There are some medicines that appear to alleviate symptoms, but are very seriously contraindicated in bipolar disease.
I certainly wish you and your husband the best. Sounds like you are a very caring person.
smile

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Bipolar_World/

this site is a discussion group just for bipolar. It is a safe environment to talk with those with bipolar and those living with someone with bipolar.

When I was first diagnosed with BP, I found the site and it was so helpful to be able to speak with others who had more experience with the disease. They can give you the "been there, done that" perspective that you might need and can't get from a book.

However, I found two books to be invaluable to me as I learned how to deal with my illness.

The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz, PhD

Bipolar Disorder: A guide for patients and families by Francis Mark Mondimore, M.D.

I think Daphne already mentioned them. They truly are remarkable books and extermely helpful.

I have been very fortunate to have "stabilized" with my medications. My doctor and I worked very close together to make sure that we found the proper combination and dosage. He understood the disease and me. The illness is very personal, meaning that one combination of drugs may work for one person, but not another.

I used to focus entirely on my illness, how it effected me and others, what I did, the decisions I made, every aspect of my life. Now, I have accepted it and have moved on. I take my meds. I do a once daily (How am I doing today?) and the rest of the time I just live my life. Sure, some days I spend a little more time on "me", and that's okay. Whatever works for me. I just don't let it become a big deal and overtake my life.

Am I so naive to think I'll be cured? Heck no. I know that I'll have to take these meds for the rest of my life. But that's okay. I know that I'm a better person for them and I can deal with that.

Did I ramble enough? At least I hope I made sense.

Yes, his Drs are keeping tabs on the medications. What Vicki said is so right. Its getting your mind off of focusing on the illness and getting on with your life as well...
thanks you guys...

I agree with Vicki. This IS a highly personal disease. It's important to learn everything that we can, to work closely with a competent doctor who takes the time to know us, to find the right medications and stay on them, and to do everything possible to stay healthy and well. And then it's crucial to move on--to get beyond the tedium of self-scrutiny, and to put to good use what we've learned from the illness. And if we have willing hearts and curious minds and patient spirits--and if we are very very blessed to have friends and loved ones to support us in the journey--this disease can teach us a great deal.

Because I have struggled, I feel blessed as a therapist. I have an immediate respect for people who consult with me--and perhaps more than that, I have an irrepressable hope in the possibility of getting well and finding meaning. I'm not naive about the power of mental illness, or about the reality that some people stay attached to their identities as sick people. But I believe that all our pain can teach us. But the gifts are there when we can find ways to claim them.