Hey Songbird, this might not be an idea that will work for you but I am going to throw it out there anyway...what if you invited everyone over earlier, hand each person an slip of paper (you could roll them up with ribbon or something) with an item they are responsible to prepare, you could put several children on one item maybe, or they could pick slips of paper with item on it out of a hat or something, anyway then you become the supervisor and just give everyone pointers (you don't actually prepare anything, let them do it). At first they may not like it but once they get into it, it will be a meal and family time to remember. It works for our family.