Dotsie,
I guess it's easier for me to tone down the holiday chores because the November-December holidays are not my favorite time of the year.

As we approach Christmas, we lose more and more daylight. Would you all believe that I actually write "Shortest Day" on December 21st? It always brings a smile to my face knowing that the days are getting longer again.

I've learned that I like the "one day" holidays -- Valentine's Day, Halloween, 4th of July, Easter. There are fewer expectations associated with these "lesser" holidays, so it's easy for me to enjoy them.

I buy about five Christmas cards for the people I know it will mean a lot to. I don't bother sending out the bulk cards anymore. It's a waste of time, money and energy better spent on family. When I owned my business in a mall, I saw what Christmas did to people and it wasn't pretty. We've maxed out the stress of a holiday that shouldn't be stressful.

My 33-year old daughter is trying to guilt trip me because David and I are going to Paris for Christmas to see my sister and her husband. I told her to save that guilt trip for her husband when she gets married! I think I've earned the right, if nothing more than aging, to go where I want, when I want and with whom I want!

Dotsie,
We have spent the Holidays with both sides of the family. One year our son made some comment and we decided to stay home enjoy the day. Its less stress.
Sometimes we buy the turkey, cook it with all the trimmings. Other times we buy a boxed meal at the local market. In doing the math its less expensive and less mess.
Friends can drop by if they like. The guys watch football and I am usually working on crafts.
We also play games and there's a puzzle on the card table. We attend a Church service Thanksgiving Eve.
Like Misfire I look forward to longer,warmer days.
Thanks,
Maggie

Dianne,
As the kids say, I totally agree with you. I too feel like I have the right to go where I want, when I want, and with whom I want. Why should I try to pretend to be someone I'm not?

I send Christmas cards almost every year. I'm seriously thinking of ditching them this year and spending the $ on manicures for my daughters and me instead. Sounds like a wonderfully "selfish" idea!

I am pretty traditional and I like Christmas cards. However, last year, to save on the postage, etc. I sent postcards. I made them on the puter and the postage was only (I think) 27 cents. It was a good compromise for us. Oh and also, I have cut the list down termendously over the years. I only send cards when I get one! LOL! I keep them ready and each day I reply to those I receive. This way I figure I am sending to those who really care to correspond this way. Just an idea!

The holidays.
It has bothered me for years that my sister has referred to THANKSGIVING AS "turkey day". I'm not judging anyone else but, in my sisters case she has lost sight of the idea of giving thanks.

As for christmas. I try to focus on the real meaning of Christmas. Not "X-Mas" To me christmas is a time for family. A time to re-evaluate what is important in my life. I avoid at all costs the commercilazation of christmas.
I think giving gifts to children is great, but racking up debt for the sake of gift buying is just wrong,(my opinion). One nifty thing to do is give to a needy family and let the adult relatives know that that is how you chose to budget your christmas money.
As for all the stress. I try to live up to my own expectations of me and not the expectations of others.

God bless.

With all the commercialism, I think many of us (general sense) have forgotten the true meaning of the season. The spirit of Santa Claus shines greater during this time of year than at any other time, and we should open ourselves up to it. Giving to others less fortunate, helping those in need, and loving everyone. That's what we need to remember.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here with my boomer friends. You all are so giving and wonderful.

I've learned that no matter how much you spend on gifts, they are not necesarily what the receiver wants.

At times it's just too stressful to get "the perfect gift", which most likely will end up not being used at all .

As to invitations and compromises, I cut down on most.

But for me, the official cook in the family, this time (this year) I am about to go out on a strike . Not because I don't want to cook-I love cooking when I know others will enjoy it, but I am in great need of down time.

My extended family is hoping I get to do some of our traditional puertorrican dishes and I am just sooo tired, and will have no help, that I am about to not do anything at all !

I just feel bad for my kids, cause they are used to the best cooking for family get-togethers. But I need to go with something simpler this time (if I want to keep my sanity )

Since I won't be here for Christmas, I decided to not decorate the house. No tree, no lights, nothing. I'm sure we look like the Resident Jews of the block! I asked my daughter if she wanted to put up the tree and she said no. We were both thinking about the pain of taking it down again! Really and truly, it lessened the stress. I'm having my daughter's girlfriend over Monday night and we're celebrating an early Christmas for my kid. Dinner French style. A lot of fun. I did it last year.

Forever I have stressed my brain to find the absolutely perfect gift for everyone and then stressed the budget to pay for it. I always wanted to get something that everyone would not only love, but use. Usually something they had mentioned wanting.
Last year I was especially stressed because I was buying for my new in-laws who I hardly knew.
When I prayed about it I thought about the tradition of gift giving which comes from the first Christmas when the kings brought gifts of gold, incense and myrhh to the baby Jesus. What baby cares about gold? And Incense and myrhh are embalming scents. What baby would ever want embalming scents?
Of course the best of the tradition celebrates the greatest gift of all, God's gift of His son. But who would really want a crying,squirming baby in their Christmas sock?
They say giving is for the giver. Well, I decided to follow that concept. Now I buy people things that I like and want them to have. I get a more joy from it and I think they do too. It's not near the stress.
smile