Well ... there is much more to the story ... I was just trying to cut to the chase. :-)

We have done fun things together -- we've traveled together on "mothers only" weekends that I've organized, we've hiked together, we've biked together, we've done breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. She gathered a group of friends together for a surprise luncheon for my 50th birthday, we've gone to movies together, I invited her to a mother-daughter book club that I'd co-founded, she invited me to a mothers' support group --- so we have done fun things together.

It's not the crises that really bother me ... it's the feeling that she trusts me to share her thoughts and feelings with me and then, for whatever reason, her defensive wall goes up and then I'm shut out. I know that her behavior stems from stuff in her childhood and I can understand why she plays her cards so close to the vest, but I don't feel that I deserve that kind of treatment. I guess I'm just tired of waiting for her to trust me.