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#32921 - 07/23/04 08:10 PM Re: outdoors
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Vickie,

I can relate to you on this; there are times when being outside doesn't bother me at all and there are times when it takes a great deal of will power to go out. (When I do go out, it helps--the sunshine and being outside is uplifting.)

I don't know about you but if I don't inwardly think too much about it before going out, it goes better. What helps me when my nerves act up, is to have a plan--a goal--before I even think about going out and doing things.

Sometimes I make up a small list of what I want to accomplish or people I have to deal with. I do this the day before. Getting it on paper helps me to put it away for the night and then I know in the morning exactly what I want to do.

When I do this, my plans for the next day usually go pretty good. I make allowances in my mind (and on paper) for some things to not go as planned. Making these allowances for diversions makes it go better.

Would this kind of plan help you?

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#32922 - 07/23/04 09:29 PM Re: outdoors
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
Toni, that kinda helps, yeah. I've learned to schedule appts and errands in the morning. I'm better then. I get up, get ready and go, and sometimes I'm out and busy before I even realize it.

However, if I have an appt in the afternoon, I'll think of a hundred excuses why I don't need to go before I have to leave.

I like making lists, so making a list of what I need to accomplish during my errands would work. I like to schedule them all on the same day. I figure since I'm out, I better make the most of it. [Wink]

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#32923 - 07/23/04 10:09 PM Re: outdoors
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Vickie,

I'm so glad this helped. Like you, I'm a list maker and it really does help to make a list of what needs to be done.

I'm also like you in that I'm a morning person and like to get all my errands done at that time. If I can't, I make up another list for what needs to be done in the afternoon, and the people and events that await me. (Again, I try and make allowances for 'turn of events' and this really helps.)

Sometimes I even write down things to say when confronted with a difficult or new situation. This gives me confidence and 'boldness' when dealing with difficult or confrontational people. Really helps!

Somehow, putting it on paper releases emotions, problems and concerns and then the mind is able to relax. Relaxing and releasing thoughts makes the following day go much better.

I'm so glad that I was of help.....

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#32924 - 07/27/04 04:25 AM Re: outdoors
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Some time ago, during therapy in trying to deal with some childhood issues and a few issues that took place in my adult life that triggered those childhood memories, I was totally afraid to go outside. I would actually have panic attack upon my feet hitting the first stair toward leaving my safe haven.

Soon, my children and friend and siblings carted everything that I needed in to me. Thank and praise God, my fears were lifted and I was finally able to leave. My doctor named/labeled this as agoraphobia. To date, I still do most of what I need to do inside. If/when people want to see me, they almost already know that it will be here.

What I do is make sure that their experience is extremely comfy so that they wont be so fast to say, "It's your turn to visit me next time."

I still have my days that even sitting on the patio is hard. But, I still reach many from here.

Once a person I'd known for about three years saw me outdoors. He stopped talking mid-sentence and then said, "You're outdoors!" He hugged me. We laughed and stayed out just a wee-bit longer. My children are always surprised. They watch me as though I'm a stranger when I do leave.

If I'm not home when my daughter comes home from school, she gets worried. When she finds that I am ok, she is very happy that I left.

I guess, for those that have heard my single plights, Mr. Right wont find me in here. Funny though, when I do go out, I always meet someone new.

I think that therapy kinda messed me up. We discovered that some of the experiences I was feeling that led me home and afraid were triggers. For instance, during the summer months, many businesses tar/repave their parking lots. There were some very traumatic things happening in my life as a child while a company was tarring the school I went to. My olfactory association to this always made me sick. Now that I know what was making me react so negatively, I avoid it.

The unfortunate part about that is that I miss the sun and many of the other months here in WI are cold.

Hmmm, time to move to a country setting where there is no need for pavement, right? LOL. I wish.

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#32925 - 07/27/04 04:53 AM Re: outdoors
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Vicki, I absolutely love your site! It is so wealthy with information.

Sugaree

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#32926 - 07/27/04 04:37 PM Re: outdoors
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
thanks, Sugaree, and thank you for posting about your agoraphobia experiences.

I'm glad you visited my site and found it full of information you can use. I like to hear back from people who find it helpful.

Peace.

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#32927 - 07/27/04 09:02 PM Re: outdoors
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Vickie,

Just checked out your site and it's great! Very attractive with a lot of information...

You have so many accomplishments in which to be proud of..

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#32928 - 07/30/04 10:17 PM Re: outdoors
Daphne Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/04
Posts: 40
Loc: Macon, GA
I agree that an hour in the outdoors is worth ten in a therapist's office--and I'm a therapist myself. I got a great email from a young friend this morning. Lisa Braner, who just moved to Germany this year with her family (and author of The Mother's Book of Well-Being--wish I'd had it as a young mother) wrote: "The sky is wide above me, and seems to listen to what is in my heart."

The air is so thick here in midsummer Georgia that we can hardly get outside. Maybe that's why I'm needed around here?

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#32929 - 08/01/04 02:11 PM Re: outdoors
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Hi Daphne. Welcome.

Ladies, please check out Daphne's site. I met her through this site. She's asked me to review her book. You can learn about it by clicking on the link in her signature. I think you'll like what you see. [Wink]

Can you imagine how many therapists are needed in Alaska when it's dark all day and night?

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#32930 - 08/01/04 02:35 PM Re: outdoors
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
I checked out Daphne's site. We have an expert among us!! Very nice site. Easy to use.

Welcome, Daphne - I hope you stick around and post often.

What is your opinion for those of us who have a social anxiety disorder and can't seem to make it outside?

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