Hi Avalon,Well dear come join the gang I've only been here since Sunday too but I've had some great help.I know how your feeling I'm in the same boat but this site is great and I've posted with some really great gals and that does help.I'm not too good for advise yet as I'm still hasselling with this void to but know your not alone and keep busy thats what is really helping me at the moment.Take care,shana

P.S. they say it gets better I believe them lol

Hi Shana...Thanks for the message..I am excited to be talking to someone living in another country...but I am sorry to hear that you are missing your children too...I love having a whole network of ladies to talk to who all seem to feel the things that I am feeling...it makes me feel less lonely..I'll make a deal with you..I'll believe that it all gets better if you will...Have a happy day, Nancy

Hi Nancy and welcome. Mine are all gone now and to add to it, my husband works in another state. I was bored and lonely at first but I try to start new projects or learn something new to keep me occupied. Girlfriends help too. It does get better!

Nancy, I am a few years away from my nest being empty, but I can empathize. My middle turned 21 and my youngest turned 12 this past weekend. I liked being with my kids. I didn't even send them to school!

Even though I have a few years, I am looking forward to what I'm going to do with my time. I plan on having a career of sorts, and working that around the grandchildren (1 so far). I'll only be 50 when my youngest is 18. My grandmother turns 100 tomorrow, so I figure I've got lots of time to do what I want to do.

OTOH, I don't think it's healthy to just ignore all those empty nest feelings. It's a major transition. It's a huge change of life, a new era beginning for you. Take the time to process the feelings. I myself would be tempted to stop everything else I'm doing for a time and just feel them. Take a vacation with my husband...that's what I'm planning to do first when the nest is empty. We can process it together.

Then I think I will be making a clean break from a lot of stuff that I only did because I had kids. I plan on reevaluating everything to see what value it adds to MY life and only do the things I WANT to do. Empty nest would be a good time for that, eh?

I've found myself making these reevaluations at certain times when my older two reached stage-of-life things. My eldest got married and I reevaluated--I had a new role, right? Then they gave birth and a new role for me happened again. My middle moved out (and now he's back for a while). Major changes all of them, and they require processing and reevaluation and introspection.

It does get better, because life goes on no matter what. They're not dead, they're just away, and we have email and digital cameras and the old fashioned telephone. If you cling to them, you will push them away. So make yourself interesting for your own sake, and that will naturally attract them back to you. Your relationship will be better that way. Treat them as you would adult friends, because that's what they are.

NMY

Great insight NMY!

I love the "they aren't dead, just away", and "treat them like other adult friends".

I'm with you.

I'm about 3 years away from having an empty nest, and I'm ready. Building my business has given me something to look forward to.

The interesting thing, is that my children resent my business to some extent. For YEARS my primary focus has been them, and now that I have something else vying for my attention...they aren't happy about it.

Now keep in mind that I am HOME with my children 24/7 (I homeschool)...so IT IS A MUST, that I have something for myself.

danita

I am half way to ENS and waiting for the last kid to go. She is 25 and shows no signs of leaving. LOL.

So much insight. You better believe I'll be reading this thread come September, 2006. I have a college junior and two high school seniors.

I'm already praying for balance next fall. I know I'll miss the heck out of them because I have been a SAHM all these years and my life revolves around them. Even now while working full time on BWS and NABBW. If one of my kids, or hubby come through the door I drop EVERYTHING if they need me. I can't help it. I've done it for so long. I work around their schedules. Work a few hours, take one to lunch, drive them to the mall, work a few more hours, run to the orthodontist, work, iron a work shirt, work, feed them and their friends, work, get the picture?

For all those suffering from empty nest, think of this as your time. Do what you want. Investigate new interests, perhaps ones you've been putting aside for years. Reach out like you are doing on this site. Everything is better when shared with a friend. And I have found that when I have courage to share honest feelings with other women, I quickly learn their honest feelings which are often very similar. Just that alone heals.

I was still working full time when my last one left the nest. Hubby and I were looking forward to some alone time, then he was diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say, it changed our perspective on everything.

I think everyone worries about how they will feel when their last child leaves the nest. I can honestly say, now that all the illnesses are behind us, that Chuck and I love ours. The kids are happy to visit, we love to have them and everyone is happy when they go back to their own lives. It's the best of all possible worlds.

But if anyone had told me this 10 years ago, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

Danita, it's pretty funny how possessive the kids can be of your time, huh? My kids reached a certain age when they were out of the house all the time, but were downright OFFENDED if I didn't sit at home and wait for them to need me all day. They'd come home at midnight and want to talk to me, and I could barely keep my eyes open. Then they'd sleep until noon and will have missed my most active time of day--early morning.

I'm looking forward to empty next, even if I just stay home and work in the garden.

NMY

Oh WHAT A TYPO!

I'm looking forward to my Empty NEXT! Yes, that's what I'm looking for...what's next?

NMY