Hi, this is so interesting to bring up those who did not have a nest to empty. I never had children. By the time I thought I was emotionally mature enough, it was biologically too late. I witnessed how children were treated in my family, and at 15 I was saying that I didn't think I wanted to bring more children to my family. I had not yet learned that there were different ways to raise children, or that I could go my own way. Also, to anyone who thinks that having a child means having a visitor in a nursing home, you know that having children is not a guarantee that they will actually be there. Norma, that is so moving that he had a place to call home for a while. I had a foster family for a summer; for one summer, I lived a little longer. Chatty, I am so sorry about your son.

Di..I am so sorry that you sometimes feel left out of conversations...I have children but I think I know exactly how you feel...I feel left out so many times because people ask me.."what do you do" and I say..I'm a Mom..semi retired now...and they say..."no no..I mean what do you DO?" and when they hear that is my chosen profession they ignore me then..it never feels good..but as far as a loving heart...I have met many mothers who have hard hearts and many women without a child who ooze love from every pore in their bodies...I have a strong hunch you are one of those women..welcome to BWS..Chatty..I am crushed reading about your son...here is a big HUG from me...you are such a sweet and very kind Lady...

Thank you for that, Avalon. Now I can take it further than that! Try saying that you are a "stay-at-home-wife" with no kids! I get..."Oh you must be so bored"!! Dont' THINK so! People are SO judgemental anymore I do not remember it being this way when I was much younger as a kid.

However, I do run a wholesale soap business out of our shop, so in order to not have the comments, I say I "work from home". That usually ends the comments.

I do love kids, really. That is why I wanted them. And I "thought" I would have them. We are so programmed as very young girls that "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Di with the baby carriage". I NEVER remember in health class the word "infertile" or "barren" ever getting mentioned.

We MUST educate as many as we can!

Welcome, Di. I was born and raised in Silver City, NM.

There are benefits to having children and benefits to not having them. I had four and while it was tough raising them, we're now friends.

Like it was mentioned before, you can love others and maybe someone who never had a mother's love.

Di,
I feel so awful for you...terms like "Barren and infertile" should never be uttered..and yes..people are much more rude these days...is the word "tactful" still even in the dictionary?I believe in freedom of speech but that does not mean feel "free" to hurt people's feelings...having a child is wonderful..but it certainly does not validate you as a loving or lovable woman...you my Dear, have done that all by yourself..my children are grown now and I have
an overwhelming need to hold and hug and nurture...so now I have 2 cocker spaniels who I baby..and they love me back unconditionally..my kids never got as excited to see me as they do.. ..Don't let people hurt you Di...you are too valuable...and I agree...we do need to "educate"...and lesson No.1 should be "Tactful Conversations 101" Have a great day!!!

Actually, I do consider myself barren. (I had a hyst) My point was that we were never "taught" that such things can happen in life!

Yeah, we have five dogs now, too, and I LOVE them. But five active ones (Aussies and Heelers) are lots of work when one tries to get stuff done!

Avalonblondi you said it for me, don't use the word "barren" on yourself. You are anything but "barren." You are a full, beautiful woman willing to give and share love.

I'm a stay at home mom for the last 20 years and don't like when people ask me "what do you DO all day?" Well, let's see here, I sit watching soaps all day chewin' on bon bons in my robe and big, pink fluffy slippers, scratching my backside. I can't fart and use the remote at the same time! LOL!!!
Seriously, I find plenty to do all day too. I think maybe some of those people that ask that question don't like that we CAN be at home. It's almost like you are supposed to hold a job outside of the home in order to be valued (in some people's minds, that is.)

Well,

as for the posts, did a good job you guys! As for the "childless" out there, I am speaking for myself, but knowing Flipperjo as I do now, I think I can speak for the two of us.....Yes, our children were our children, and we loved them with every bit of heart we had. But make no mistake here. And I MEAN no mistake - Mothers are mothers. If you can be a mother to anyone, you have a Mother's Heart. Would we have felt differently if our children were adopted? Surely not. Love is love. And trumps everything. Biological child or not. Never feel left out. You can each decide what Mother's role you can play - and how involved you need to be. Any child on this earth would cherish the Mother role you are able to give. However in-depth you are able to provide. Gifts are gifts. May I welcome all who wish to provide, a Mother's Heart, welcome. These hearts are sorely needed!!!!

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Norma,

I like you better and better, every time I read your posts. What a wonderful person you are! And most certainly, your Mother's Heart has been duly noted and written in the Book of Time. With a Star above your name. As another human, I thank you for your contribution.

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Chatty, I like your response and ditto it. Love is love. Many mothers do more harm to their children than good. Giving birth does not automatically make a woman love any better.

Daisygirl