Oh Bonny,

Do you have a way of getting some professional help? These problems that you have had in your life, I believe require more than what we are able to provide.....These are very serious = I have concern for you....

You are NOT a failure, and all those things you mentioned surely affect your choices in men!!! And remember, Elizabeth Taylor was married, well, I can't remember HOW many times, so you are in good company...there are many, many, many others as well..... You really need some help here, I feel so badly for your self-image. Of course you need to take control of your life, but that's not an easy thing to do, especially under your circumstances...Let us know what you are feeling.......And take courage! Even these things can be worked out for you!!!!

Searcher