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#221135 - 01/16/16 05:47 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Boomer in Chief Registered: 03/11/10 Posts: 3212 Loc: Illinois	RE: Mad Magazine - there are so many jokes one could make about this. But of course, there wouldn't have been any "girlie" magazines left behind. I think those are not allowed by Allah... _________________________ Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. www.nabbw.com www.boomerwomenspeak.com www.boomerlifestyle.com www.boomerco.com
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#221139 - 01/19/16 06:12 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	Knock. Knock. Who's there? Opportunity, that's who. Don't be silly. Opportunity doesn't knock twice! ------------------------------------------------------------- That dude on a whiskey diet. He's lost three days already! ------------------------------------------------------------- Asked a doctor the other day, "Have you got anything for wind?" He then gave me a kite! _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221143 - 01/26/16 06:17 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	Q: What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? A: It gets toad away! --------------------------------------------------------------- Blonde: "What does IDK stand for? Brunette: "I don't know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!" --------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: "Kinds, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat." Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221148 - 02/02/16 02:04 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	Q: What two words in the English language have all five vowels in order? A: abstemious and facetious... ------------------------------------------------------------------ Fact is, it was all so different before everything changed! ------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What is the definition of a fool? A: A 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work! _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221151 - 02/10/16 09:32 AM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	Johnny asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. 'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist. 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.' 'That was very kind of you.' Johnny added. 'I hope she appreciated the thought.' Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.' --------------------------------------------------------------- Knock, Knock, Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you! -------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear. _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221152 - 02/16/16 09:20 AM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny! ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a mischievous egg? A: A practical yolker! ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? A: Egg-zosted! _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221169 - 04/05/16 05:44 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	"I hear your aunt had eleven children." "She sure did." "Why didn't she go ahead and have an even dozen?" "She figured it might interfere with her career." -------------------------------------------------------------- "I heard she made a fortune from a story she made up." "Who'd she sell it to?" "A jury." -------------------------------------------------------------- "Didn't you say your son was a professional author?" "No, not quite. I said, every time he writes a letter, it's for money." _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221171 - 04/12/16 05:51 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	"Last time I went to vote, a fella pulled a gun on me and asked if I was going to vote Republican or Democrat." "What did you tell him?" "After I thought about it, I told him to go ahead and shoot." ----------------------------------------------------------------- The trouble with politicians is 90 percent of them are giving the other 10 percent a bad name. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Congressman to Young Lady: Which party are you affiliated with? Young Lady: I can't tell you. The party I'm affiliated with isn't divorced yet! _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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#221172 - 04/13/16 01:57 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Boomer in Chief Registered: 03/11/10 Posts: 3212 Loc: Illinois	Good job, Jabber! I love the first one! _________________________ Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. www.nabbw.com www.boomerwomenspeak.com www.boomerlifestyle.com www.boomerco.com
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#221174 - 04/19/16 06:22 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Member Registered: 02/17/05 Posts: 10032 Loc: New York State	"Hello, is this Fred?" "Yes, this is Fred." "Are you sure? It doesn't sound like Fred." "Yes, I'm absolutely sure. This is Fred." "Fred, this is Charlie. Will you loan me fifty dollars 'til the end of the month?" "I'll tell Fred you called just as soon as he comes in." ---------------------------------------------------------------- "Sir, your daughter is going to marry me." "It's your own fault for hanging around here so much." ---------------------------------------------------------------- "What would you like to do today?" "I'm not sure. Let's think..." "No, let's do something you can do, too." _________________________ https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf
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