Dear Whirlwind

I have found that with regard to any kind of relationship, as relationships are about communicating and spending time with one another, that we all have to take a breather sometimes...one cannot always spend one's time relying on a partner to fulfill oneself or relieve boredom.

Within relationships...too much is put upon the relationship itself...and not on one's own responsibility for growth and joy...to be able to come to terms with oneself and what makes oneself happy. Only then can freedom exist within a relationship if both people are moving toward more fully understanding themselves. Without that you've got the ball and chain aspect where women are constantly hanging onto their man and don't give him any space to breathe...and where men are constantly demanding the presence of their wife or to some extent determining how she spends her free time.

Relationships evolve only through one's own growth in consciousness. TRUST is the big factor...when you are reigned in from following your own heart and joy it is because of a lack of trust....or simply one has not grown within.

Each and every one of us has access to many different levels of consciousness but we're not taught this...we're taught a surface way of being...we're shown by friends and parents what marriage is...from a surface representation...systems in business, in education and within politics keep ourselves from discovering ourselves because we're always taught to be better, to be achievers, to think only about the physical world and where we're going and how we can benefit the system.

What has always been missing is the heart....instead relationships are built on fear and control...fear of loss and thus the male and the female trying to control each other, by occupying the other person's time and space, by fostering weakness so that one spouse will have to take care of the other person's emotional needs etc. Why...because we have always been taught that we have to achieve, an action that takes place outside of us, always striving to be the best...to be what we want...to get what we want...and we apply that very way of thinking upon relationships...IE WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET WHAT I WANT! What do I have to say to him to get my own way! What do I have to do to make her see it my way. IE Wives are supposed to stay at home and take care of the home and husband. It doesn't work! Control through fear, loss or manipulation does not work!


The truth in regard to people's actions is really only based upon their inner growth and their inner strength. It is the inner growth that provides sustenance and happiness. People have substituted inner growth for a relationship! In some ways it is because it is only through a relationship that they can see what needs to be seen within...their partner mirroring the loss within them...the fear within them...or the partner creating scenarios that are tough to deal with but boy do you grow! Why? In order to come into inner peace...the ultimate journey!

Relationships in many cases are a side journey to wake us up to the beauty within...to help us to grow inward!

We have been taught that relationships are based on a give and take scenario...whatever happened to give and give. Fear happened...loss happened...relationships are really not relationships ie loving one another;relationships are really mirrors to our own fears, our loss and in moments our own joy!

You have to feed the soul...and not depend on another's soul to feed you....that's what's missing in many relationships!

You're right whirlwind...always follow your joy and if someone tries to stop you they are operating from a consciousness of loss and that can tell you a great deal about the person who operates from loss...and where things will go from there.

With love
Leigha

The games people play never cease to amaze me..