I will have to admit I know nothing about this, being married 36 yrs and not dating since I was 17, what do I know???

I have had 2 girl friends that completely changed, friendship wise and personality wise once they started dating. They had both been divorced.

OK, here is where I get confused, I would think at the age of 54-56 we would be a little more mature than when we were 16. My latest experience is being with a friend on a vacation when at the last minute, the boyfriend is joining us for our "girls vacation". Luckily my sis-in-law was with me, so I wasn't left all alone.

I was surprised to see her running after him like a little puppy dog, ignoring that fact that they left me and my sil standing there. I was not about to do just what he wanted to do, I wasn't on a leash.

So to cut it short, I was surprised at how quickly people can turn into drooling, immature kids, not caring about others, giggling and acting like no one else was there.

So am I old or what?? This prob doesnt at all explain it, I understand that she will not be around much with me, which is ok. It just bothers me to see her completely drop what was her life and change it into his life in less than 4 months.

Maybe I should have put this under Whine....

Some people (those girlfriends) have no self-respect and no self-esteem. They still buy into the old canard that they're worth nothing without a man. This woman defined herself by her marriage before, and now defines herself according to every male that has even a minute potential of being a future husband.

Too bad, really, that life has taught her so little.

I agree with Meredith. It sounds as if her live before the man was missing something or so she thought/thinks, he comes along and viola! She is alive again. Hm...that's sad to me. The fear of being alone for some controls their emotions and actions. If they gave themselves half a chance, they would find out that you cannot depend on others to make you happy. It's from within.

While I wish her the very best, she will find that he doesn't hold the answers and cannot fill up the well...He will only draw from it.

JJ

It is so easy for us to criticize this woman from the safety of a marriage. But I wonder how many of us would confront our husbands to tell him to leave a girl thing if it might mean the end of the relationship. That's the position in which your friend finds herself. She no longer has the security of a legally binding marriage. All a single man or woman has to do is walk away.

Though some women who get divorced at this disgusting age seem to become total idiots, usually it is just a stage. Your friend may be acting like a teenager simply because she has in some ways returned to that status in life.

We are created to flourish in pairs. But that doesn't mean we can't be happy as indiviudals. I was a very happy single person, which does not mean I did not want or need a mate. It meant that I didn't want just any mate and I did not focus on finding one. And most important, it did not mean that I was was less than a whole.

If you love her as a friend, you may have to accept her for what she is, like us all a changing organism for whom girlfriends are not first priority at this moment. She will get past this stage.
smile

[ January 03, 2005, 01:06 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Hopefully your fried has managed to find one good man in the 1000 jerks running around, age not withstanding. If you love her stay close because sooner or later she'll wake up from this dream state shes entered and reality will slap her right in the face and she'll need a friend. I never knew there was an age limit on immature.

Being a 55 single woman, i can relate to the crazies that sometimes happen when you find a man interested in you. Sometimes just the fact that SOMEONE shows an interest at our age is enough to turn you into an idiot. Case in point, I believe a man flirted with me at the bank - I had to run home and call a friend - all giddy. Then stopped to think, oh my gosh, I'm 16 again!! But I do hope at this age, that if we do find a special someone, that we remember that that "love" can be fleeting and our real friends have been around for a long time...

elsie, what a boon to be flirted with! I bet you felt good all under. Where did that saying originate?

Flirting is such a healthy habit. Everyone loves it (men too). And it's not fattening. We oughtta' all do more of it.
smile

I've debated about posting this story, but decided to go ahead so here goes. Last night around 10:30 (after taking my daughter's boyfriend home) she and I stopped at CVS. Where else?

While I was picking out toilet paper(of all things) this very attractive, clean cut African- American man approached me and simply said,"I wanted to pay you a compliment. You're beautiful".

I smiled and said,"Awww, thank you". With that, he disappeared.

I was flattered and wished I had a chance to tell him what a kind thing he had done.

Of course I kept thinking about it and came to the conclusion we should all do this more often. I hand out compliments left and right, but I've never told a total stranger of the opposite sex they were handsome. I talk to everyone while I'm out. I tell people they have beautiful children, I compliment women on their clothes, hair, jewelry, etc., but I've never been so blatant and told a man he was handsome. He wasn't trying to pick me up. He wasn't flirting. He just said something kind and left. Isn't that nice?

When I got home I looked in the mirror and my hair was fat from the weather, my makeup was worn, and I didn't have a stitch of lipstick left. Hmmm, he thought I was beautiful. Isn't that nice.

I posted it here because we were talking about flirting and thought it tied in. I also wanted us to consider the power of our words. We can use them to build one another up, or put one another down. Here's to boomer women building others up!

I think you're all beautiful!

Dotsie,
That's a wonderful story. It proves the power of flirtation.
And you are beautiful. Feel it and revel in it.
smile