Geez Chatty what a mess all that is. Makes my problems look like nothing more than me whining.

I just don't know how things got this way, ok? I think I have lots of friends, yet everyone is so wrapped up in their own stuff, that the days I get to enjoy doing stuff with friends seem to be few and far between. And while sometimes I do enjoy doing stuff alone most of the time I'd rather share a good time with a friend. It's more fun, for me, that way. Once in a while I don't mind going to something alone but it's way more fun, for me with a friend or a group of friends.

A couple of my friends are babysitting grandkids a lot. One is so wrapped up in volunteering for Strides and Relay for Life that her calendar is one meeting after another -- that's all she has time for. One is retired from an airline and travels a lot. Some like to drink (a lot!) and I'm not into that. When I go with them, I end up feeling like I'm the one babysitting as they all get wasted. They want me to join them on a 7 day cruise in Jan but I know they're going to be boozing it up the whole time, and while I have nothing against drinking, when you don't do it and everyone else gets bombed -- well, forget it.

The things I like to do -- beach, arts & craft festivals, whatever -- my husband doesn't like to do or can't because of his disability. I get resentful because I bust my butt helping out at fishing tournaments for disabled veterans because that's what he likes to do, but it doesn't seem like we do much else togther, now that I think about it. Sometimes I very much feel like it's all about everyone else and it's never about ME. And right now I'm going thru a phase where I am just sick and tired of it. It's depressing me, I'm tired of trying to do it all around the house, and not getting out to have any fun lately. When I took Brandy for her walk this morning I just wanted to keep on walking and not turn around and come home.