Any progress DJ?

DJ
the dance moves are just a smokescreen to placate and divert from the economy and how banks etc.let others down.
Media folks use what is going on and give a lollipop to subdue the mass of people.They continue to flourish

in war could we really go to be entertained and see the stark reality? dont think so.so there is a moral boosting film made..family life as the focus.
but my opinion is just one amongst many here.

Hope your sister has a resolution and things become calm.anxiety depleads and life becomes fraught.

I think they've made some baby steps.
Jane sent a b-day gift to the littlest one of the grandkids who called to thank her (but is new at talking and hard to understand especially on the phone).
Sally got on the phone briefly and said everything was in boxes and that her friends had helped her pack and she didn't know where anything was and it's a nightmare. Jane was sympathetic.
It's the first time since July that she's heard her daughter's voice, so that was good. Maybe things are beginning to settle. The big thing is that they actually spoke to each other.

That's great news DJ. Once the ice is broken, the rest will follow.

My suggestion is to retreat for a while and give it some time.

I have periodic disagreements with both my daughters, but I have to just sepaate myself from the situation from a while and remember I taught them to think for themselves.

The youngest who is one of the wisest young ladies I know always says, "Mom, don't worry, everything either works out or wears off."

And it does.

the 'me' generation is living up to its reputation.
When they do not hear what they want, when they do not get what they want, they blame everything on the parent...I know...I'm there right now with both my sons. And at this point, if two men in their 30's can't pull their head out of their rear ends and grow up then there's nothing I can do about it.
If Sally wants to act like a spoiled 2 year old, let her, and ignore her. Angelika's right. But, the two times my sons and I have gone through this I've had to be the peace-maker. I didn't get any kind of apology for what was said to me or how I was treated and what did that teach them? That it's okay to steam roll me and that I will eventually come crawling back to them and they can do it again. Nope...not this time.
I'm almost 60 and do not know how many years I have left on this earth...if their pride is more important than their ability to behave like my sons to their Mother then it's something they're going to have to live with after I'm gone...and I tell you at this point I doubt that either one of them care at all.
My point is...Sally is an adult...if she's ever going to grow up and be accountable her mom has to keep her foot down and be ready to accept her daughter may or may not come around. If her daughter doesn't come around then what is that telling her? That her daughter cares more about herself than doing the right thing. But, Jane will go through her life feeling guilty, which is a mental game we put on ourselves when our kids hurt us...it's not Jane's fault and she needs (hopefully) to snap out of it.
Keep in communication with the grandchildren, but do not play into Sally's hands...it's emotional blackmail and not fair to Jane.
Just my ever-so-humble opinion.

I like what you say, Dee. Jane feels guilty and Sally has a way of playing on that just by bringing up grievances form the past. I think I had grievances toward my parents too, until my own kids started throwing similar things at me. Something about walking in someone else's moccasins. Parenting is just tough, especially in these times. There's no blueprint and we're all just sort of improvising. When we were teenagers and young adults, our own parents faced issues that their parents never had to face, and that cycle keeps turning around. Each generation tries to do a better job than their parents did, but I think they sometimes make the wrong changes in trying to make things better for their kids. I gotta say that "kids these days" don't have the respect for the parents that we had. I think marketing has a lot to do with that, by the way, but that's another story...