I have to share another Gary-experience. We just spent a week at a military firefighters' reunion in a beautiful part of British Columbia on the west coast of Canada. Gorgeous scenery everywhere. We had a lovely time, with hubby meeting all sorts of people he had worked with over the years.

It was my first time in BC. But while we were touring the small town of Comox (where the base and reunion were), I suddenly realized with surprise that this was the same place my brother Gary had spent several summers as a sea cadet in his teenage years. It really hit me hard while we were watching the parade on Monday (a holiday) and the sea cadet band marched by...I realized that Gary had marched in this same parade, playing his saxophone in the band, a little over 20 years ago. And I was struck with such sadness because I had never thought to ask him about his experience there. I realized how much of his life I had missed out on by not asking questions or being interested in his activities.

I still enjoyed my time, and was glad to see the place he had enjoyed so much all those years ago, but there was a sadness in me the entire time as well.

I now believe that these experiences are meant to teach us lessons that we can carry on into future relationships and encounters. This taught me to step outside of my social timidity and care enough to ask questions about the things that matter to the people who matter to me...while we still can.