Dotsie, when I USED to work in education, I was in charge of safety. Among other things, it meant designating one person to be in charge of any given situation. It did not mean making all of the decisions, but rather find and name the right go to person for each situation.

We used the same model when caring for my mother last year. I was in charge of her medical and housing needs, but would clear any ideas of my sibs. I always had a preferred choice, and generally they would go along. This way, everyone had a say, but only one person was making the final decision. My sister, on the other hand, was in charge of the finances - again, she would give us the story, what she felt was the best choice and we would all chime in. My brother would mainly add suggestions, which we would consider, and incorporate if appropriate.

There were only 3 of us, so it was easier than with a large family.

It worked perfectly for us. No fights, no battles, no resentment later on - we all knew our roles and we stuck with decisions once they were made.

Edelweiss, I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to watch the ones you love deteriorate. My love is with you. Dotsie, my love is with you, also. How is dad?