Dotsie, this is one of those; - you're damned if you have a large family, and you're damned if you don't.

I'm in the opposite situation. I have no one. Absolutely no one else to help me care for my mother. Sometimes I cry on the way to the hospital, make a happy face when I'm with her, and then cry on the way back. Just to share the concerns and grief would be such a help. On the other hand, if sibblings are competing as to how things should be done, or what should be done etc....well, I don't think I could take that kind of additional stress either.

How about if you make designated days as to who should care for the father? I would think that way you don't get in each other's way.

My mother is in terrible pain right now. She is suffering from a collapsed spine. Good Lord, never even knew about these kinds of things, that are apparantly quite common in the elderly. They kept her 3 hours in the emergency room. She was a little bundle of grief, when they rolled her back into her room. But still, her face lit up when she saw me. That's all that matters. If I can just give her a little joy, if I can just distract her a bit from her pain,...that's really all that matters.