Gald to hear you stuck to your guns while calmly sharing your desires with your ex. You go girl!

I think all of have a bit of control freak in us when it comes to our children. We want things to play out a certain way because we think it's waht's best, but we really need to back off so they can learn to deal with these situations on their own. I have a feeling your son may surprise you. Being away ffom home, and so far away from home, has probably helped him grow up quickly. Don't ya think?

Offering prayers for a peaceful season for you.

Give your son a great big hug from all of us. Our son just got home from a 52 day gig and it was so wonderful to lay eyes on him. You must be excited!

Well, my son has come and gone..and I miss him so much. We had a lovely Christmas Holiday with him here..and both I and his dad, saw quite alot of him..much more than I thought we would, actually. And yes, Dotsie..he matured very much since leaving for college this past fall. I think that since his dad´s illness (stroke), he has done alot of thinking and maturing. It is wonderful to experience. He has become a very loving, caring and empathetic young man. In some ways I feel a bit of sorrow because the boy/man with all his gusto and energy and fast replies to everyone and everything has become a quieter man..and some of his humor is gone. But he still believes in the future and believes in being happy and working at being just that. Soo..well, it´s the way of life, right?

I just wanted to write and tell you all kind ladies that have shared my thoughts here and helped me think..that just as you said..my son and his dad DID work out the financial details of his tuition..and all is arranged for now. And I didn´t put my big nose into any of it. They did it all by themselves I am so glad that I listened to you ladies here.

Thank you!

Ps. Dotsie..there is very much truth in what you wrote above here. My daughter who lives here in Sweden told me. not too long ago, in EXACTLY the words you use here..to BACK OFF!!! It was during the time when her dad, my former husband, was so very very ill. But there IS alot to what she said to me. I could see that after getting over the shock and hurt of her words. I am almost ashamed to write about this..as I thought I was a "back off" sort of mom..but I guess that I am not. So..I go on learning how to be a mom and a person in this life of ours.

Thank you again everyone!!!

humlan, I can read the joy in your post. Isn't it amazing how much we can learn about others and ourselves from one sticky situation? How cool that you can witness the maturity in your son. I share in your excitement of having a son around. Is he is his second year of college? If so, you m ust get here to visit agian, and this time I will definitely get to PA to meet you. What do you say?

Our youngest son leaves again on Tuesday for a week gig with a band, then he'll arrive home the day before we go on a family vacation to Aruba. He's cutting the gig short so he can go with us. I'm pleased.

Humlan,

I'm so glad that things have turned around for you and your son. I don't know what it is with some moms and their sons...Mine are impossible to talk to...and they do not want to understand any prespective that comes from me...and having a DIL who takes everything you say and do the wrong way...well, there's no winning sometimes. So I just give up...completely...they're happier, I'm happier and life goes on. For you, dear friend, I'm glad that things are working out...you're a good woman, a good person and a good mom and I know from where you speak and I think until our kids are parents with kids this age and go through some of the things we've gone through with out...they're just not going to get it.
Keep smiling dear lady and I'm sending warm wishes, prayers, hugs and love your way.

:)Pleased to hear hunlan that things are better with your son and yourself. It's just great!

I adore my sons, always wanted daughters but the good Lord had other ideas I guess. My eldest son is my pride and joy and we spent Christmas together and had the best time we've had in years. He is getting a divorce and I hate that but maybe now we will have more time alone together without all the drama...

I haven't seen my baby now in eighteen years and thats pitiful. Don't know if he is alive or dead. My heart sometimes aches for him but I live in the same house as when he left and he hasn't bothered to contact me, sooo! I can't imagine disliking anyone so much you decide not to see them ever again. I don't even feel that way about my ex, the cheater, thief and liar...

Mark has also not seen his brother and there is NO reason for that. I said it before and keep telling myself that, "we give them life, nurture them, sacrifice for them and hope for a good relationship." Thats all we can do.

Humlun so happy to hear that everything turned out allright.

Dee, thanks so much for that lovely PM. You certainly know just what to say to someone needing common sense. HUGS!!!

I'm not sure how much common sense I have...I just speak from my heart. Hugs back atja girlfriend!

This is my new moto:
Embrace those who love you
Pray for those who have it all wrong about you
And don't let anything or anyone stop you from living your own life.

Dee, that's a great moto! Mind if I borrow it, with one exception?

Tossing out emotional trash and those who initiate it.