Well said, NYWoman. To be honest, I admittedly pick and choose when and where to be open and trusting, even here at BWS. There are some discussions and threads where I have not felt comfortable or informed enough to speak my opinions, but I'm ok with that. It's the same for me in any social gathering, there are always different clumps of discussions going on in various sections of the room...some I hover on the periphery, interested but not knowledgeable enough to participate; some I jump right in; and others have no appeal whatsoever, so I bypass altogether. I see BWS as the same sort of thing. And I think it's only natural to gravitate toward the familiar (and safe), especially when I'm feeling most vulnerable or lonely, because those are the people I know best, I know how they're most likely to respond, respect and care if/when I dare to contribute. I hate to think that that makes it cliquish...I suppose it could be misconstrued that way. For me, it's simply "safe and familiar", a place to find stability and footing before venturing into the more unfamiliar discussions with lesser known voices - I'm ALWAYS afraid of being "picked apart verbally" - and WILL stay away from a thread if I sense that there's anybody there who could or would do that to anyone.

Your quote makes me realize how many women here have climbed in through my closed doors and locked windows to show me how deeply they care...there are many who have emailed, PM'd me time and time again, caring enough to break through my hibernation, silence and fear. I guess that's a huge part of the healing I've found here.