Well, afraid of putting in writing my thoughts is NOT one of my problems.

Check out my blog sometime and you'll know that I have no fear of letting anyone and everyone know my feelings.

Not only am I NOT reluctant to put it in print, it is one of the stories in my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice).

I kept a record of 100 of the insane/abusive things the x said and did; it is all there!

I guess I was born standin' up and talkin' back; I am PASSIONATE about what I believe in and think.

I stood up for 18 months and fought a spiritually abusive church, and in the end on my birthday, they put my name up n a big screen, followed by the words; Conduct Unbecoming a child of God.

I stood up on my birthday in front of the whole congregation and said: "Wow, I didn't think this many people would show up to help me celebrate my birthday."

I guess because I had no one to stand up for me/celebrate me as a child and then 31 years of abusive marriage, etc....I was used to figuring things out for myself, and never had any expectations in life. I joined the army right out of high school, and hven't stopped trying to make a diffeence, since

Hugs and welcome to you, Freelancegal!

Can you believe you wasted 31 years in a bad marriage. I think we women at time have to be nuts. Or think our lives will go on forever, and I am one of the worst ones when it comes to wasting my life...

Thanks for your submissions, Alice. You really went through some tough times, but now you're free and you sound awesome. Ironically, I just hosted my son's wedding at my house over the X-mas weekend. I felt like screaming, "NO!" but, hopefully, he will be happy. My oldest son is adopted and he needs the security of loving one person in his life. Hopefully, he will be able to have biological children and finally have a blood connection. I know it's important to him.

The more women I speak with, the more I find they are unhappy. However, they just won't submit their stories. I think they're afraid that if they write their feelings down, they will see how miserable they really are and have to do something about it.

Have a happy, healthy and propserous new year.

I'll be married 33 years this March. It's interesting because my husband is really a great guy, but I'm burnt out at this point. I spent many years dealing with his hostile family and he never gave me the support I needed to survive them. I divorced them when I turned 40. It was them or him, so I made the better choice given that my kids were still young. But even when it comes to raising my children, I'm always the bad guy. He has no backbone. I think he doesn't trust and respect himself, but that makes it hard for me to respect him and you know that's not good for a marriage. There's more, of course, but I think that when a women reaches menopause, she begins to think more about herself - the kids are grown, you've done your job, and now it's about you.

I hope the new year holds wonderful things for you.

Freelancegal, darn darn I missed the deadline. The Christmas season has been very busy for me.

I also think Chatty’s suggestion as to submitting an essay anonymously is good; since this is a personal topic. The ladies here at BWS would probably recognize my essay, since they have been accompanying me on my emotional roller coaster ride with my husband.

I enjoyed looking through your site. You seem to have writing in your blood. I can relate to writing stories and poems before going to bed. I did that too.

And as far as your husband easing out of disciplining the children, yes,…I’ve been there too. Now with the grandchildren, I stand my ground and refuse to be his moderator. You DO get a second chance in that respect.

Hi Edelweiss3. I'm sorry you missed the deadline. It's been real hectic for me too. As for anonymous submissions, you can certainly do that, but we do state that we will keep all submissions confidential. The main reason we would prefer to have some information is to be able to contact someone if we use their essay in our book. Also, some of the demographics may be very useful in compiling the book because there may be patterns according to age, location, etc. If you wish to contribute, please feel comfortable to do it in any form you wish.

Thanks for the compliment about having writing in my blood. I only wish I could have made a living at it. I'm happy, however, for the success I have managed to achieve and who knows, maybe some day, I'll hit it big. If it happens when I'm 90, I'm giving them a picture to put on the book jacket of me now.

We'll see about that second chance with the grandchildren. I'm not sure I'll be sticking around for that.

Visit freelancegal at http://www.tohaveorhavenot.com

(((Freelance)): Thanks, sweetie...so I assume you received my submission....I am constantly fighting the techie world! Not only do I NEVER want to be anonymous in speaking of my experiences, I want everyone to know my story, so that it might be a vehicle to help another person. I believe we are all here for a purpose and that is to make a difference, and once my poetry (Sanctuary of the Soul) is published, I will be on (another) mission to promote it and get on National tv....have been on the radio 2 times.

Hugs, Alice (and Francesca, my evil twin)

Good Luck to all the entries, especially our Alice.