Thank you so much for all your answers here. Because of these and my own thoughts..I did visit my former husband and tell him quite calmly that I can´t be of help with my son´s tuition. He did not seem surprised..and took it in his stride. Again..he has had a serious stroke..so I don´t know where we will be next time we meet. But my son comes home on Friday..and they can perhaps work it out on their own..as you all write here. I think that you are right..all of you..and that I must let go. Here in Sweden, my son is considered an adult..and has been since he was 18. He will be 20 on Christmas Day As I write this I really do feel that I need to learn to "let go" and I am not good at that. I know that. I am a control freak in my own way..eventho I don´t think that my friends would classify me as such..normally. But I AM in my own way.

I had a terrible nite of angst and anxiety..which I take up in another thread I began today..and maybe this situation is part of it. Yes..it probably is. I think that I am falling thru my web of positiveness that I have weaved for myself..and finding some sort of reality that I need to interweave into my web,too.

Anyway..thank you so much for your help here