Anno, sweety, don’t you ever apologize for not responding. I know many posts get read, and many just don’t have the time or words to reply. And you, my friend have enough on your hands.

Maybe you are right, to a certain extent, that it is a male thing. Most visitors at the senior home seem to be women. But when I think how my father cared for his mother; well, there are exceptions.

Friday I am taking my mother to the doctor’s office and will speak to her myself. If she still doesn’t give my mother anything for the depressions then maybe it is because of what JJ and Dotsie have said. We’ll see.

If she does not give your mother anything for her depression, ask why. Ask her what the alternatives for depression are for your mom. My mother has alz, too, and she is taking a med that is working quite nicely for her. She, however, takes few other drugs at this time.

My dad was always good to his mother too, but not so much his MIL. He was never, ever cruel or neglectful, but just not as loving and caring as he was for his own mother. It seems to me that as a woman, we are more likely to love equally - blood or not.

EW, regarding your mother's depression. Consider what she's been through lately and try to put yourself in her shoes. I'm sure you have, but thought I'd mention a few things.

First, she had to get rid of most of her stuff, downsize, leave her lovely home, neighborhood, familiar surroundings, comfort zone, INDEPENDENCE, plus so much more. Then she has to adjust to all that is new. Throughout this, I'm sure she knows this is a final step of sorts. Wow, they can be pretty depressing.

I'm praying she becomes better adjusted and comfy in her new surroundings, makes new friends, befriends the people who work there, and feels her spirits lift a bit.

Anxious to hear about the doctor visit.

Medicine can make or break an elderly person. My loved one is currently in the hospital after acting out at the Alzheimer's residence. They stripped him of his meds, except for the Alzheimer medicine, and began re-introducing medications again. His mood seemed to level out and we were hopeful he'd get back to his residence soon. Then yesterday, they were trying, without success, to draw blood. Apparently it was a scene of frustration on everyone's part and he ended up kicking the phlebotamist. Kicking? He's never kicked a soul in his life. Well that's not true. He kicked Ross when he was in the hospital the last time for medicine evaluation. They'd introduced an anti-depressant and it totally freaked him out. He was hallucinating. Poor thing. But other than when medicated, he's never kicked a soul. He isn't a violent man, never was. I'm telling you, medication in the elderly is tricky. So we're back to the drawing board, beginning again with other medication, once this medication is out of his system.

Isn't this sad? Most of the time, he's confused already. It's like you never know who you're going to see when you visit each time. It's heartbreaking.

EW, just keep this in mind when Mom changes or adds medication. That's why I share.

Once a general MD gave dad (who had dementia) the wrong meds which CLEARLY said on his chart, DO NOT GIVE...anyway, daddy laid on his back and rode an imaginary bicycle for two days straight. I kid you not. I was worn out watching him. He would wear out, take a fifteen minute nap, then up came the legs and she would begin traveling once again. There is no telling how many miles he made in that two day period.

Meds CAN affect the elderly and especially when they have dementia of any kind.

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad someone understands the behavioral changes meds can have in the elderly.

JJ, and there was no telling him any differently, was there?

Honestly, they are totally out of their minds at times.

If my mother should do something like your Dad did, I'll ask if I can take the same meds.

Anne, I think of you being alone with these patients who are heavily medicated. Please be smart. I wouldn't want soemone to hurt you.

EW, your comment had me laughing.

Don't you all just hate to think of this happening to us as we age? It boggles the mind how fragile we can actually become both physically and mentally for no reason whatsoever.

Don't you think, Chatty, that this is what scares us the most? Seeing ourselves like this?

We are getting older. We all will die. And for most of us, that fate is simply unacceptable. Or at the very least, not for many, many years to come.

Anne, and I imagine she will continue to get worse. How sad is that?

chatty, absolutely. I can't even imagine having my car keys taken away, and that doesn't have a whole lot to do with health. Heaven help us.

Nobody gets out alive.