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#189847 - 09/13/09 03:02 PM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: jawjaw]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
I found your first post just as wise as the second one, JJ.
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#189936 - 09/15/09 11:31 AM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: Lola]
Songbird Offline
Member

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
I once found myself in a situation where I was not sure how to deal with. Talking it over with a trusted friend, and listening to my own words helped me sort it out, and realize God's will in that situation. It was amazing how in a short period I was able to realize and decide about it.

I have friends who come to me searching for answers, support, and or just to listen and pray with and for them. If I'm asked to give any counsel at all, I'll pray for God to give me the right answer. And I use the Word of God. It's the most trusted Guide.
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#192762 - 10/28/09 12:51 PM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: jawjaw]
lindasusan Offline


Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 93
Loc: NJ
JawJaw, You are so very right. People on the whole really don't want advice; they want a friendly ear. They know the answer already as you said, they just need to admit to themselves. I had a friend, who used by voicemail when she knew I wasn't home to vent. Unfortunately, she abused the voicemail so, that it would be full and not available for anyone else to leave me a message. This was an unusual situation, but obviously, she really didn't want any advice.

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#192770 - 10/28/09 04:39 PM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: ]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”

Winnie the Pooh
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Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
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#192779 - 10/28/09 05:21 PM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: Dotsie]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I think just letting your friends know you are there for them no matter what, whether they are happy or sad. No judgement, just listening and giving 'honest' advice if asked for.
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#192810 - 10/29/09 03:43 AM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: chatty lady]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Maybe I'm an exception, but when I vent, I'm thankful for any advice sent my way. Sometimes being close to a problem doesn't give the distance you need to solve it. That's when I seek my friends, especially here at BWS, who come up with some of the best counselling and tips I’ve ever heard.

I tend to give advice too, because I don’t really believe venting alone is a solution. Sometimes we need a new perspective to rethink or redo.
_________________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Goethe

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#192815 - 10/29/09 07:38 AM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: Edelweiss3]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I don't like it when friends tell you what you want to hear, or share your very same perspective. That's why BWS is good. Women are honest and that really helps.
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#192862 - 10/29/09 05:16 PM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: Dotsie]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I can remember when giving an honest opinion on this site that someone didn't want to hear or agree with they'd really slap you down verbally, Or the PM's started flying to try to get others to hate you because of your answer, how childish!!!

BUT those were the old days and things have certainly changed for the better. I figure if someone asks a question on a site like this one they want help, an honest answer whether it matches theirs or not. When I ask a question here I WANT honesty no matter what it is, and thats the truth.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#193100 - 11/03/09 12:10 AM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: Edelweiss3]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Originally Posted By: Edelweiss3
Maybe I'm an exception, but when I vent, I'm thankful for any advice sent my way. Sometimes being close to a problem doesn't give the distance you need to solve it. That's when I seek my friends, especially here at BWS, who come up with some of the best counselling and tips I’ve ever heard.

I tend to give advice too, because I don’t really believe venting alone is a solution. Sometimes we need a new perspective to rethink or redo.


My partner does give me the real truth about myself, in a calm way when he knows the right times to deliver such messages. laugh I appreciate it.

But the advantage of friendly strangers is sometimes just offering different ways of seeing the same old thing to eventually find a new solution.

I don't actively seek advice all the time from my closest friends simply because we truly lack time. So she (close friend) and I have to focus on the latest news about ourselves, most critical stuff.
_________________________
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http://velourbansism.wordpress.com


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#193111 - 11/03/09 09:31 AM Re: How do you "counsel" friends? [Re: orchid]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I often find my own truth in the mroning when I'm journaling and praying. It's no fun realizing that you thought you did the right thing, but in retrospect, it was way off course and based on gut instinct and flapping of the lips.
_________________________
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www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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