Thanks for asking, Dotsie. My mother is in the hospital and is getting fluids through the bottle. She has finally stopped vomiting, but I think she feels like someone has done a mean beating to her stomach. At the hospital, they put her into a room with three demented patients. One of them kept yelling “help, help!” I immediately arranged for my mother to be put in a private room…$ 250,- / night extra…but I don’t give a damn.

I bought some expensive skin creams. One for the feet, the hands and face. I massaged her feet with the cream, her good arm and hand, and did a royal massage on her face. It did a world of good for the both of us. I have finally stopped crying. My heart was breaking for her.

As for the suing thing…my brother says in the States they would immediately sue for giving the wrong medication;…but you know what? I’m exhausted. After my initial anger, I am just glad that my mother is doing better. I literally don’t have time to drum up all the facts, find the right lawyer..blah blah; …me plum tired.

Interesting, Dotsie, that you have to be behind the staff, and do surprise visits. One thing I know for sure;…the senior home ain’t what it used to be. They know they better not mess around with me. I gave them my piece of mind, and my meanest evil look. I’m not sure, but I had a feeling they were dodging the darts flying out of my eye balls. I scared them all right. And that’s good!

Dee, your prayers are so welcome. Thank you my friend. And MA, I wish you could chum with me too. You have no idea how I wish that.

I have no idea what her nursing home costs but would it be possible to have her in your home, and hiring someone for 24/7 care there? You would have peace of mind and know she was being taken care of properly. It would be of some bother to you and your husband but it doesn't sound like it would be for very long. This is so awful for you and for your dear mon. God growing old sometimes is worse than the alternative after all. I'm sure you'll do the right thing for all concerned. I will pray for all of you.

Just had to let you all know that my mother is such a trooper. She even walked the hospital isle today.

I had to change the title of this thread, because i don't think I will sue. But I will be watching this place like a hawk, and we have changed doctors.

I know no other home in such a good location and with such modern facilities. So I won't move my mother, I will just never ever let her suffer this long again; and if it means I take her to the hospital myself! So another lesson learned in life's turmoil.


Chatty, thanks for your suggestion. I think Mom is in good hands now at the hospital. Once again it shows; money makes the world go round...and gets you better service.

EW, sounds like Mom's on the mend. Where are her shingles? Are they around her mid-section? Are they healing. They almost seem secondary to everything else going on with her.

Every elderly person needs an advocate who will watch over them like hawks. Sometimes things get missed because the hawks need an occasional rest too.

Dotsie, the shingels are on her right arm and shoulder, which isn’t so common.

I want to commend those that are caring and make decisions as if the patient were family. The senior home does have those good nurses too, and they have my deepest admiration and respect for doing excellent jobs. I think those are the people that have a real calling to senior care. You need a calling to do what they do, and that with the patience of angels.
Anne and Lady Jane, I know you belong in that class of people.

I think I'm a bit different in that I can't even go to parties without gravitating toward people who are unwell. It's ridiculous sometimes. My hubby says I have to leave that behind when I'm out trying to destress and have a good time. I find it difficult to ignore. I just naturally go there. And when an issue arises, no matter where I am, I'm forever in nursing. In a small way, I wish I could leave it behind sometimes but it doesn't seem to be "me."

I have a similar experience LJ..Theatre visits tearooms and any event where the mix include people/children who have the same needs as the students I worked with.
I have my hand shaken by a Downs adult who had never met me...I dont engage in a way that is noticed maybe I just dont look away as many people do.
In a world where many children are taught not to engage with unknown adults these lovely souls make my day when we pass the time sent in a friendly way.
Heaven will be full of all types of people and I enjoy a portion here and now

LJ, that's an admirable quality. Notihng to worry about there, unless it tires you.

Mountain, we have a group home across the street from us where single adults that are not capable of living alone reside. THey are delightful people to see out and aobut inthe neighborhood. They are always with a house mother who keeps them from wondering. The very sad part of this is that we had a neighbor who moved because she didn't want to live next to such a home. I've got to tell you, they are the best neighbors one could ever ask for. People suffer from NIMBY, not in my back yard syndrome. I experienced it when chairing a committee to get skate parks for our youth in our county too. Sad, very sad.

Some people need to get a grip and figure out that they are not all that!!! I try to get along with everyone and it is much nicer than being some kind of bigot whether it be against a race, a religion, a custom, or even a type of people. Geesh!!!

Yes, Dotsie, you asked in another thread about my mother. It’s still shingles. She has non-stop pain…and you are right Saundra; it is awful. But her rash is fading, and she is more mobile, so that is the optimistic side.

I have been going through a hard time these past weeks, dealing with superficial doctors and nurses with an attitude. And then to top it all off, every evening I came home to an uncaring husband, who didn’t understand the anguish and concern I had for my mother.

But, things have changed for the better. My DIL, yes “A”s mom, drove extra to our house to have a heart to heart talk with her father-in-law. She told him he better get his act together, or he will lose me. She then told him how it’s only natural for most daughters to feel a special closeness to their mothers. And instead of trying to change that, he should be there to support me morally and comfort me in my sorrow. She then left my grandchild with us for 6 days, because my son and DIL said our 3 yr. old grandchild is the best marriage counsellor ever.

Well, now the 6 days have gone by. In the presence of our little angel Hubby and I were forced to talk to each other, be civil, and even act happy. It has broken the bitterness, but most of all, hubby seems to have taken his DIL’s words to heart. He has been asking how my mother is, and even suggested visiting her once! I thought I was hallucinating…although he knew I would say no, because “A” was sleeping in the back seat from an exhausting day at the beach, and no way could we have visited my mom. Oh well,…I’m trying to see the positive things.