It would be so great to have a magic ball. After going through all of this I have learned so much. My daughter now gets it about why I kept visits with her Dad at a minimum when they were younger.

Apparently his temper is alive and well and he has yelled at my daughter on more than one occasion. When he gets angry he is very scary. She has had enough and is relieved to be home. She is here most of the time and will officially move with us end of the month. At the moment her bed etc. is at her Dad's and my student has her room so she has to sleep on the couch which is fine by her.

My ex either doesn't get it or doesn't want to. I work two jobs but fortunately can do most of my work from home so have always been around for my kids.

The ex has a live in and they have three kids, the youngest is there child. The eldest moved out because of my ex's temper. The other girl (not his) has to put up with him. She is only 10. My daughter says he is terrible to her and she feels sorry for her.

Anyway, the Mom rarely works, my ex is always finding himself unemployed and it's always every one else's fault. The gov't body that monitors my child support are evil people trying to destroy him (his exact words) he calls on me and asks me to call them off. I really can't do this. I can but it would not be in my best interests. I just keep telling him to call them, not me. All the while he collects child support from the Dad of the 10 year old and if he is late or misses they go after him. Nuts!

Anyway, I am happy to have my daughter home with me. It's not always going to be easy but she knows where I stand around rules. If this hadn't happened she may always wonder about it and maybe romanticize about how much better it would be with her Dad. Now she knows.

I am a firm believer in natural consequences. It's the best way to learn a lesson. I could have told her it was a bad idea but she would not have listened. She had to find out for herself.

Kate