Lynn, you have so much on your plate. Put this whole issue of your stepfather on the back burner and don't pick it up again. It took you your whole life to get to this solid ground...please, my beautiful Lynn, don't let him steal even another moment of your life away. Don't let him guilt you, don't let him stress you, be firm and BE OKAY with knowing that you've done all you can do (and so much more!!!)

There just comes a moment in our lives when we're allowed and must say "enough". Draw the line in the sand, and know that it's essential for your own health and well-being to do so. Hugs.

KathyC, if in your position I would feel exactly the same way. Take Eagles words to heart, she makes so much sense. We are only given this one life to live, its time to begin living Kathy for yourself, not for anyone else...

Chatty Lady,
Trust me, I live for me and the ones I truly care about - hubby, daughter and the friends I've turned into my family.

I know we don't pick our blood relatives (because I certainly wouldn't have picked mine), but we can pick friends to be the family we weren't given at birth. I have wonderful "mommy and daddy" persons in my life. And tons of "sisters" that I was not born with.

Lynn, please listen to Eagle's wise words. He is not your responsibility. You must draw the line. That comment was a test. Don't bite.

Hi I just popped in to let you know I read your words of wisdom, and recommendations. Thank you! I won't be long away from BWS!

My prayers are with you.

As are mine.

Thanks for the prayers and good wishes. It's official. Any/all of Mom's treatments for cancer and Alzheimer's are terminated. This means she is in full hospice care. She is at home with step-f which is good. He's actually using the hospice therapy services! Amazing! He has had an aversion to any kind of support/therapy all of his life. (It's not he that needs the therapy, it's the rest of the world!) This therapy took a lot of work, and tough words, such as telling him the rest of the family cannot be his only support, as we have our own things to work through. The therapist comes to his house. It's a big huge mental/emotional breakthrough for him to realize there is no hope for her recovery, there is nothing he can "do" to make it otherwise. What we can do is make her comfortable. She is wasting away. I'm going there (to AZ) in a couple of weeks. She'll ask him, "Do I have a daughter?" and he said yes, and she asked for me. She does not recognize that she has sons. That is interesting.

Thank you kindly Lynn for sharing this journey with us all. Hospice is a wonderfully genuine organization that helps carry the burden of your sorrows, as well as, give first-class care to the patient. They are so thoughtful, so warm and caring. Your mom is in good hands.

I pray for calmness and peace for your heart!

So Mom is wasting away. In case I don't get to tell you all at the last minute: I am leaving on Tuesday night 10/06 to go to Arizona to be with Mom. She is at home, and hospice comes to her. Apparently, she has no clothes! She eats but I guess the food is not metabolizing properly. She can go out and about in a wheelchair but my step f can't go shopping for panties with her. These details one would never think of until they come upon you. So I get to go to AZ and see mom and buy her pjs and panties and tops and a bra for her one sagging flattened to her chest breast. she used to be a fashion trend setter. they called her "Venus" in high school! and I get to meet her hospice care-givers which is good because I think of hospice as angels and I thank God that Mom still recognizes me. I just hope she does not die on my watch because I am not bringing enough meds for myself for longer than the week. maybe I should? My step-f better be good t me because I really am all he's got. I know many many of you have been through this and similar situations with parents and God bless you for being there and caring for others. Love to you all, Lynn