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#182408 - 05/16/09 10:50 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: orchid]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thank you Orchid. And thank you for your insights...I didn't know you had gone through a depressive period like that. I'm glad you shared.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#182410 - 05/16/09 11:19 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: crazymom]
Ellemm Offline


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
Originally Posted By: crazymom
Ellemm, I'm sorry for your personal struggle, but that does not make the belittling of a huge segment of our population any more acceptable. In fact, if you have a family member or loved one with this label, I would assume (abviously mistakenly) that you would be working with people like my family to educate the public.



Having any sort of illness does not entitle you to be snotty. You don't know me and don't have the vaguest idea what I have lived through and what I have done to help people and to educate others, yet you feel free to make your own judgments. But somehow I feel any more words would be wasted on you. Peace out, as they say; I will continue to help my family and friends as they need it.

Eagle Heart, my heart goes out to you and to anyone else who is strugglng. Heck, this has been me. I know people want to be connected, but sometimes the internet is not the gentlest of places; people often say things too snappishly or forget that someone might not understand tone of voice, so to speak. If you are already feeling fragile -- something that can happen to any of us -- that lack of understanding can feel like a rebuff. I hope you are doing well.

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#182411 - 05/17/09 06:44 AM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: crazymom]
DJ Offline
Member

Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 1149
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: crazymom
As another poster remarked in another thread about this topic, will the next acceptable topic be "Do you fear homosexuals?" How would Dotsie feel if someone posted the topic "Do you fear diabetics?"

I, for one, will not dispute the Mayo Clinic and thousands of other esteemed professionals who are working to de-stigmatize emotional illness. From above:
"Stigma, by definition, is a mark of disgrace or shame.... stereotyping people who have that condition ...Creating a division — a superior "us" group and a devalued "them" group, resulting in loss of status in the community...Statistics, however, don't bear out a connection between mental illnesses and violence. Most people who have a mental illness are neither violent nor criminals...Negative portrayals of people with mental illnesses fuel fear and mistrust and reinforce distorted perceptions. That leads to even more stigma, causing a vicious cycle..."

Ellemm, I'm sorry for your personal struggle, but that does not make the belittling of a huge segment of our population any more acceptable. In fact, if you have a family member or loved one with this label, I would assume ...

Were you aware that overeating is considered an emotional/mental problem?

I haven't been on this thread in a while and have found the recent developments a bit confusing. I think the issue is that crazymom has confused dancer's original question of "fear" with "stigma." They are not the same.
Besides that, I've observed that a lot of people are generally afraid of differences of all sorts -- adults fear adolescents, men fear women, young people fear the elderly, people fear others with disease, disabilities and disfigurements, they fear different ethnicities, religions, skin colors, nationalities, they fear weird haircuts and clothing styles and even food preferences. And I found, when working at the day treatment center for adults with mental and emotional illnesses, people in that group feared each other.

Fearing though is not necessarily belittling or feeling superior to. I don't think anyone negatively portrayed all people with mental illness, but discussed their own feelings. And we dealt, in this thread, with the difference between violence and mental illness (as mentioned in the Mayo Clinic quote above).

I think it's better to admit and examine one's fears so that you can work on them than to have unacknowledged fears.
_________________________
http://dcvance.wordpress.com/

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#182443 - 05/17/09 04:14 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: DJ]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
DJ, I have watched this forum closely and I agree with you. We are only trying to share, be honest and grow in our understanding of mental illnees. When someone has never experienced mental illness first-hand they have no way of knowing if their words are ignorant. At least they are trying to get a better understanding.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#182460 - 05/17/09 09:28 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: Dotsie]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I imagine we all have either experienced some form of mental illiness as there are many to pick from or know someone who either has, or is now.

This question of fear makes me think of the diabetics and homosexuals being lumped into this discussion. Has anyone ever known a diabetic or homosexual locked in a padded room because they might hurt themselves or someone else? I haven't! Has anyone ever heard of someone on a killing spree because of diabetes or homosexuality? I haven't! Has anyone heard of someone putting an infant in a micro wave or drowning it due to diabetes or homosexually? I haven't... Or a father or mother killing their entire family because of diabetes or homesexually? I doubt it!!

So what the hell has one got to do with the other.

Oranges and apples ladies, oranges and apples!!!

There was a perfectly understandable question asked and answered by many. Diabetics and homosexuals have nothing to do with this question nor does anyone with any other disease like heart trouble, IBS, MS, TB or well you know what I mean!

Does this kind of trouble making mindset sound familar ladies, well it does to me...Beware!
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#182507 - 05/18/09 03:59 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: chatty lady]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Chatty, well said, IMO. Thank you for the perspective. I've avoided this topic since its inception. The reason is that I think the initial question itself incites controversy in an unfavorable direction. We know what "fear" is in terms of instinctive flight or flight urges. We know that mental illness is diagnosable, sometimes treatable, not always curable, a disease, a disorder. IMO the question itself implies that those with mental illness may cause fear in others. Those with mental illness may fear those with mental illness. Those with mental health may fear those with mental illness. Those with mental illness may fear those with mental health. In some diseases, there is a continuum, and those with the same DX mental illness may fear others with the exact same condition, only a different degree. I'm sure that somewhere on this forum we have discussed concepts such as compassionate care for those with mental illness. And/or how we move ourselves toward mental health? Hypothetical concepts, rhetorical question, just saying.

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#182605 - 05/20/09 12:46 PM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: ]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
I am reading "People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil" by M. Scott Peck. He wrote the highly popular "The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth." He defines mental health as "an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs." So, that is a good question, How do you define mental health? If I read again all these responses to the topic question "Do you fear those with mental illnesses?" I'm sure I may find a response that reminds us that we don't know who is mentally ill unless the "ill" person is defined as such by experts and/or that person behaves as we lay people commonly think a mentally ill person behaves. So, if a person is mentally ill, yet functions well in society without exhibiting any behavior that will cause us to fear, we are not so much fearing the mentally ill but the behavior of the mentally ill. Another fear may be this: are we afraid that we may become mentally ill? A greater percentage of both men and women who have been sexually abused are diagnosed as bipolar than those who have never been sexually abused? So that begs the question: Does sexual abuse cause mental illness? Would that person NOT be bipolar had he/she never been sexually abused? And of course not all that are DX bipolar have been sexually abused. Just contemplating. I worry a lot too, and have to snap myself out of a cycle of worry. Much of the worry has nothing to do with reality. Some of the worry has to do with very real anticipation of what lies ahead.

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#187846 - 08/07/09 03:19 AM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: ]
Poppie Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/06
Posts: 696
Loc: London
Hello Ladies, I know that I have not been around much lately, two reasons are isolating myself from support and fear of posting. I had been in and out for a browse to see how everyone have been. Each of those times I would be reading through this thread, although for me just now, my answer to the original question has evolved over many years and allows me not to fear the mentally ill…but I have been harbouring a fear of my own illness and have only over the past couple of years, dragging myself screaming and kicking away from my own denial to a point where surrender and acceptance permits my truths. What I have been watching this particular thread and find posts to be honest and sincere, yet caustic in others. Truth be told….I am insure if I can comment any further than my last point as I am struggling very hard to keep a thought in my head, which makes some sense just now.
I have just barely managed to evade admission to the psych hospital yesterday at ten o’clock in the night, having been assessed by three different doctors and it is now 5.40am this being the second or third week without any decent sleep. Over the past four days , I have rapidly gone down far enough for me to be honest about all the kinds of things would try to keep well hidden by locking myself away in my room and employing my own little strategies which to the most do put the breaks on the symptoms and the sheer terror until is passes. I became very skilled with this technique from the age of eleven until now as I did not have the words to describe it(or even have an awareness of the nature of the illness)

Going into hospital would have been the biggest set back and that I can say with certainty. I have not been hospitalized since I was 27/28...I truly believe it would be the end for me. Today has been by far one of the most frightening that I have experienced in a long time. I had the full works going on from yesterday, voices commanding and visual hallucinations , third party conversations with me, my Mum who has been dead for 9yrs and another that I don‘t recognise(I am between this other person amd Ma, the other person is scooping out my very heart and soul with the harshest of criticisms and Ma is trying to stop the onslaught…but I can usually sit these out, painful or not.

The scales tipped too far in the wrong way when I answered my phone and had a 30 min chat with Ma repeating asking me to ‘come home’. Shortly afterwards, I was still lucid enough to make a couple of calls to get me to my G.P and then casualty and by this time I had gone into a shock like state. Despite my levels of anxiety, the professionals concerned were very, very different from my earlier experiences like when my family convinced me that “all I really needed was a good nights sleep.”. I was nineteen and they left me there for 6months being pumped full of the most horrendous drugs which just served to shut me up. I was comatosed, The psych at that time would threaten me with ECT unless I did as he wanted which was not to self harm and not to scrub my skin raw cladding bath(to name but a very few things which I had to comply). This cycle repeated itself for many years and I would always be instutionalised. This time around, my meds were tweaked and a home visit program starts sometime after 10 this morning

These recent frequent episodes can be pinned on many different things,, higher levels of stress, worry and fretting about everything and anything, change of HRT meds. There are so many possible causes, however, I no longer feel the urgent need to cover things or smoke screen as I need to be as honest as I can. Which depends on how far down I will have gone. Celtic is amazing when it comes to aiding my in putting a different interpretation on the subject matter of the scary stuff, I can just ‘be’ with her and trust that she is guiding me, even just down the phone.

So, I come here also for support as I need very much to tap into as many areas that are safe for me to just ’be’ and pray that I won’t be judged too harshly. Logic and rational are grand if my mind lets me get to them enough to convey the imminent slide. As I have hidden this for so long, I feel some relief in sharing in good faith. I also would be incredibly grateful if anyone has knowledge and/or experience whereby I could be told some strategies or information which could help me pull back quicker before hysteria and serious confusion get their choking grip on me. Is it safe for me to chat in this way as I am uncertain about coming across somewhat clear? I pray that I will be safe and trust that my Boomer sisters will PM me if I am being inappropriate. I need your prayers, I need to talk to let some light chase away my darkness and some support which I know still exists in this very special space.

Poppie

Having courage for the greatest of sorrows of life, and have patience for the small ones. Onlythen will you have accomplished enough to sleep. God is awake.
_________________________
''Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love

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#187861 - 08/07/09 09:14 AM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: Poppie]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Poppie, I hear you. I too hope that you will be safe here with all that you've shared. Try to focus only on the "safe" and loving responses and put any that threaten you in any way on the back burner. The love that radiates from the people who truly understand and care will shine through...take that and nothing else while here.

I know that anxiety so well. Remembering days and weeks when I couldn't even step outside my front door to check the mailbox. It was excruciating. And nobody understood.

How did I make it through? Prayer and sheer willpower, forcing my mind to focus on positive energy, over and over and over and over again. Filling my brain with positive messages (over and over and over again). It was HARD WORK, requiring 24/7 diligence. And it was exhausting. Meds helped, but really, focusing on focusing helped the most. And being here, surrounded by love. I think it was a different place back then, but hopefully the love and care will shine through now for you.

And perhaps the most important thing? Keep breathing!

Carrying you in heart - God IS AWAKE and listening and WITH YOU. Anxiety/depression mangles our thinking and perceptions so we can't see/hear/sense what we need. But I truly believe that everything we need to get ourselves through is provided, through the people, meds, resources and everything else around us. Try to remind yourself that this is not your totality, that you are more than this anxiety, and that you are surrounded by love, light, energy and care. Because you are.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#187884 - 08/07/09 10:23 AM Re: Do you fear those with mental illnesses? [Re: Eagle Heart]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Poppie, thank you ever so much for opening your heart here. I adore you for your courage. Reaching out is a beautiful sign for your healing. I've read several memoirs written by women who are bi-polar and through them I can understand a bit of what you are suffering through. May God bless you and hold you in the palm of His hand.

Eagle's advice seems perfect. Try so very hard, with all your strength, to focus on what is good and right and just. Try with all your might to push the bad thoughts away. Pick up the phone and reach out to others. If at all possible, try to meet a friend for a walk outdoors. Just one little thing at a time. Try not to be alone with your negative thoughts.

I hope and pray your treatment beginning today will be precisely what you need to change your mood and lift you up.

I'll be holding you and Celtic and l very close to my heart. Love you dear friend!
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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