I had a talk with my border/student today and things are ok. He told me it was not what I thought. She came through the window in the morning with another person. I had heard them talking. Regardless it was not ok and he knows it. He has been sheepish as he feels bad. At least he apologized.

As for kids having boyfriends/girlfriends sleeping over. I will stand my ground. I have heard that from others "they are doing it anyway" so what. That doesn't make it ok. If they do it anyway they will have to deal with sneaking around. Letting them do it in my house when I don't think it's right is just going to teach them that I'm wishy washy. I don't think that is a good message to send. Why are we so afraid to stand up to our kids. We are not their friends, well we are parents first, role models.

Yes it is all about respect for them and us. They want to live like free adults without any of the responsibilities. One day and it will be a long time from now when they have kids they will get it. So, for now at least they are aware that I stand for something and I am not going to change for them. It's about being a mentor and teaching by example. They will have to choose one day what they stand for.

Kate