If she should still hang out with this guy for a long time, for your own awareness if your daughter is agreeable, to encourage her to bring him to say hi or have a coffee/picnic/snack in park somewhere for all 3 of you. Probably better if your younger son wasn't around at such meeting so you don't have to worry much.

When my partner had problems with his son, who dropped out of high school temporarily within the last 6 months before he was about to finish Gr. 12, he and his ex sent out 1 common message individually to him: If you won't go to school, get a job. Oh yea, he became a father at age 21 with a girlfriend, who is now an ex. To make a long story short, he shares joint custody of a little son, with ex-girlfriend. He is happily married to different highly motivated, organized young woman and he is a chef who has been reviewed by his local city. He has been building his skills through some college courses, reading cookbooks and experimenting. Yes, whenever he sees his father (my partner), we are treated to gourmet real cheffy meals.

Which he did get a job for 1.5 yrs., then return to school to finish, etc. The only saving grace that probably prevented him from falling further into an abyss, is he did /still does have a great set of good friends long-term that didn't do much or any drugs, limited drinking, etc.


It is a more complex journey to come back to true core self. Keep your belief in your daughter and you are telling her that. Has she ever been given a problem to solve that will capitalize on her artistic skill? I am asked as the family member to do hand calligraphy off-the-cuff, for certain family celebrations.