Lola, we have some bagel places here who do the same with shelters, but not nearly enough. I also recall reading about a woman who went to the farmer's markets at the end of the day and gathered fresh porduce to deliver too. This is an area that really needs to be addressed because there is so much waste and so many hungry people. You'd think it would be simple, but I guess there are health regulations and restrictions which keep more people from doing it.

I am unbelievably surprised, shocked, and disappointed at the posts in this thread. Scared of the mentally ill?!? Ladies, welcome to 2009!! That stigma no longer exists among the compassionate and the well-educated.

And now it's my turn to be shocked. If you were looking for a way to blame us and prove to yourself you don't fit in here (your words, not mine), then you've apparently found it.

What does surprise me is the fact that without being specific, you've lumped every member of this forum into one category with your tirade.

Maybe some don't understand mental illness, but this thread was started, apparently, to help others understand. If people give their honest opinions and speak out, we cannot judge them or call them ignorant. It isn't up to us to do so. But instead, it would serve them to help educate them, not berate them, if you feel their knowledge or assessments are wrong.

As far as your initial post only getting two replies, I can assure you that this is normal. Some go days or even weeks without a reply. Why? We have lives outside of the forum. We have other interest, too. And sometimes, we want to digest the post and come back at a later time when we can give it a more thorough reply. And then...........sometimes people just don't know what to say, so they don't say anything.

In my heart of hearts, and I know Dotsie will agree with me...I think you have judge us all way too harshly. I'm sad for you AND I'm sad for us.

Good friendships could have been made here. Now they are lost.

We have a policy here that if you have a "beef" with someone, take it OUTSIDE of the forums. We asked that you kindly email Dotsie or myself. This serves two purposes...

1. It helps us to be aware of something that may have offended someone, or of some post that the member thinks, or perceives as offensive, for one reason or another.

2. It helps prevent any defensive post following and an all out posting war.

In the future, please follow this policy. I hope you will stay, but obviously you are hurt by some post or posts you have read, so I doubt you will. But I can't help wondering if you would feel differently if yo stepped back and gave it more thought.

No need to reply. In fact, we hope you will not. Read #2.

Sorry to see you go.

JJ, I have to commend you on your answer. You are a great moderator, and a big reason why this place is so wonderful .

I just want to add one little comment; … I would never feel comfortable participating in a forum for the mentally ill. So crazy Mom, if you feel so comfortable in such forums, then why seek other ones? As far as being afraid of you…well…no…but you certainly seem to have some anger issues. Gee, that’s sort of scary.

JJ, I'll echo Edelweiss's commendation on your answer. Very wise and compassionate. To lump everyone here into one basket because of one particular thread - without really getting to know who the people are behind the posts - is sad and tragically way off the mark and totally misses who we really are.

I'm also mentally ill; despite years of therapy, medication and a profound spirituality, I still struggle daily through dark patches, severe anxiety, unrelenting (so-far) grief and so much else that I can't share even here. Sometimes my emotional roller-coastering gets whacky and I retreat into silence, not because others are afraid of me, but because I just simply can't think right on those days.

For the most part this is a safe haven. Some days the ground gets a little shakey, but not because of mental illness or whatever other labels someone might be tempted to tag us with, but just because we're human and we disagree and light fires. But that's okay...that's how we learn unity in diversity. And when we gather the courage to come back, forgive each other and learn to understand what woundedness lies behind each other's posts, then we evolve into deeper friendships and a more compassionate community as a whole.

I'm mentally ill and I'd rather be here than anywhere else...well, I AM enjoying my farm on Facebook too...

Crazymom, I just got back..from cycling for 2 hrs., then grocery shopping --after sleeping for the last 10 hrs. I'm here on the Pacific Coast, in a different time zone, so if I post anything I'm always late in this forum.

Take time to know us and understand each of us. It will take over several months.

The time I fell into depression and undertook intensive counselling for 1 yr. was when I university student. It was a serious effort to get up from bed and pass that academic year but it was pivotal year that made me less fearful about life choices.

Then later, my brother threatened suicide (it really shook my family, but he's fine) and a few years later, a sister fell into post-partum depression which coincided with leaving her profession after kid #2.

Slow down, please. Listen to our stories.

Mary, this thread is only one of many here at BWS. Those who have posted here have been HONEST with what they had to say about the issues that were raised. And, that is what you will find at BWS. We all reply from the heart.

All of us here come from different backgrounds, experiences and circumstances. And, we share that as a community. You can choose to help us understand you and the issues which affect those with mental illness. I, admittedly, have no clue as to how it affects one who suffers from it but, I am learning from what is shared here. But, most importantly and assuredly, Mary, compassion is extended by those who do not suffer from the illness.

I would add another tidbit of wisdom...many women who stumble through these BWS doors arrive wounded and afraid to let their voices be heard. We've said it before, and we'll keep saying it...we cannot possibly be all things for all people who come here. We are only who we are, wounded, flawed, quirky, and human. We come and go, ebb and flow, as time, circumstances and emotional well-being allow. You can never presume to know the totality of any one person by how they speak about one subject in one thread. It takes weeks, months, even years of caring, loving listening to truly glimpse the wondrous beauty and wisdom that lies in each heart here. That's why some of us stay...those who have the eyes to see can see so much more than the proverbial tip of the iceberg. When you stay around long enough, you find out that EVERYONE is walking wounded in some way. It takes patience and compassion to stay and dare to dig deep enough to discover the true inner beauty of this place and the women who keep this place going.

CrazyMom, I've experienced all of what you've described here. All of the stigmatizing, all of the judgementalism (I have no friends left since my last depressive episode). I'm guilty of succumbing to the futility of trying to educate people...it's like banging one's head against the brick wall. You're right. Even here in this very compassionate, caring community, there's sometimes an underlying pressure to think one's way out of depression...and when I encounter that, it makes me sad and tired, because who would expect that of someone who has cancer or some other physiologically measureable illness...and yet, many do think as you've described, that it's all choice and if I'm depressed, it's because I choose to be. How I hate to hear that sentiment, because I have NEVER chosen to be depressed, not when I was eight, not when I was thirteen, and not now. It is NOT something someone can just "get over", as if you could flick a switch.

I'm glad you shared this information here. We've had some really good solid discussions on depression here over the years, but lately it's been much more difficult to have those kinds of discussions without encountering some of the stigma that you describe here.

Thank you.