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#173335 - 02/01/09 05:46 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: orchid]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
You know sometimes its best to allow these know it all type kids to have their way. Sooner or later they are going to realize that no one has their back like their own mother does. Some kids just have to have something hit them smack between the eyes before they get it!
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#173401 - 02/02/09 12:09 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: chatty lady]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I will for sure let you know about the party.
It's all silent or should I say normal as usual on the home front.

My daughter has said nothing about moving out. She is still planning the party.

Her friend was over this morning but has not been around as much. When I was driving them to school my daughter said she has to clean up her room then she said "somewhat" followed by she had to do some sorting.

Her room is a mess, clothes all over the floor.

No mention of packing up or anything. Maybe she is going to wait until after the party. If it's a disaster she may re-think the move. Or maybe she is going to move in that day.

So for now, nothing is being said and I am not saying anything either.

Kate

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#173441 - 02/02/09 04:55 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: katebcca]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Mum's the word on the party. And sorry to refer to him as your husband. Ack!

I can totally relate to the room. I could use a snow shovel on my daughter's room. Where does all the stuff come from?
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#173504 - 02/03/09 11:23 AM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: Dotsie]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
I got an email from the ex yesterday. He says my daughter is moving in this Friday. Told me I have two options, to work out an agreement or to go to court. He wants me to change our child support maintenance order. This from a guy who didn't pay me for 7 years after I left. He was not the least concerned that I had 3 children to support, two in diapers with little money. My daughter hasn't even moved in yet and he wants money.

He has never, ever even had them for weekend let alone a week in the summer which normal people do. He has never contributed to back to school supplies and up until last Christmas they didn't even get a Christmas present from him.

I'm shocked actually but I guess I shouldn't be.

I told him that I have no intentions of changing the order at this point. I gave my daughter 30 days and after that I'll think about it. I called Family Maintenance ( a gov't body here that monitors child support) They told me it doesn't matter if my daughter moves with him, he stil has to pay me as he is in arrears for $10,000 dollars.

What a jerk!

Kate

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#173514 - 02/03/09 12:03 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: katebcca]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
OMG, do you think he's doing it for the money? Sick, and sorry, but that's what I thought as I was reading. Does he think you are going to apy him because she's living there now? Is that what you mean?
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#173536 - 02/03/09 02:04 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: Dotsie]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Yup, that's what it sounds like to me too Dotsie. Some people just don't get it, and it's sad that the daughter is caught in the middle. Here her dad wants her to move in - -and maybe she thinks it's because he wants a relationship, when maybe all he wants is the extra money each month. Just imagine how she'll feel when she finds out she's a pawn in his money game. Geeze...

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#173548 - 02/03/09 03:01 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
And he also wants free babysitting. She babysits now two days a week for $20.00 per night. He told her if she moves in she won't be paid as she isn't paying rent. So, she will have to babysit for nothing and I'm sure it will be a lot more than two nights per week, plus he wants child support from me.

I told him I am not going to do anything. He can go to court at his expense if he wants. He actually gave me two options: #1 agree to his terms or, #2, he will take me to court.

Good luck to him as he owes me and I don't have to pay him a cent until he pays up. By that time I'm sure my daughter will be back home. She's 18 in a year anyway so by the time he pays me back she may even have her own place if she decides not to move with me.

To be honest I have no idea how she will manage. Every time she goes there she tells me it's the crazy house. My ex is very intense, and has a mean temper. My younger two have not seen it that much as they never stay with him. He spanks his step daughter which makes me cringe. My daughter tells him to stop it.

She has no idea what she is going to have to deal with but I will be here waiting in the wings :-)
Kate

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#173553 - 02/03/09 03:10 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: katebcca]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I'll be carrying her in my prayers. All things happen for a reason. I have a feeling her eyes are going to be opened a bit more regarding her dad. The babysitting will drive her crazy, especially when she isn't getting paid.

Hang in there. I think you are very wise and pretty much know how things will unfold. Good for you for letting her make this move.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#173569 - 02/03/09 06:23 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: Dotsie]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
One way for the girls eyes to open all the way is to jump into the deep water head first, and when she sees the sharks (daddy)circling she will know her mistake and get her butt out of there and back to the safety of (momma) the shore.

I would say just relax, these things have a way of taking care of themselves.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#173888 - 02/06/09 05:54 PM Re: help teen wants to move out [Re: chatty lady]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
Well the party is tomorrow. I found out through a source that my ex just bought a restaurant and he is having the girls work there.

I just got served with papers the other day saying that the ex is requesting child support from the family maintenance office. They told me he can take me to court.

So, the writing is on the wall, daughter moves in, she can work for her rent at the restaurant and also he won't have to pay me anymore. I wouldn't put it past him to have talked her into this.

The problem is he has had businesses before and has gone bankrupt twice already. I have no idea how he is doing this. He is a poor money manager and a crook as he works under the table.

The saga continues..............

More on the party tomorrow.
Kate

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