Well, I've read through this thread sometimes holding my breath. These experiences are so intense. Pardon me if I have to go back and reply to each post, because I don't have a blanket answer that suits all. I'll start with CF #173292. Some I have to answer by relating with personal experiences, yet shared experiences nonetheless, because some dynamics of abuse are universal. Doesn't matter the economics of a family, or education, or perception in the community... abuse, including incest, crosses all socio-economic stations, and all generation. One thing that may make a difference to future generations is that we our more able to talk, then when it was "hush hush." I said more able, better able, but people suffer in silence and shame. As for tattoos, the sex-offender registries help a little, but the S.O. are usually transitory. CF, there are more books written for children than ever before. My favorite is titled "Those Are My Private Parts" by diane hanson. It is written specifically for children such as Ls age, and the drawings are done by her 6 year old daughter. As for a parent's perspective, yes, there are. I'll get back to you on the titles. As for mothers knowing, first know that mothers can abuse too, and women are registered sex offenders too. Your observations are right on: abusers are so manipulative (consider it's a male) that mothers are manipulated too. How did my mother NOT know that my brother, her son, was molesting me? Because he was also an A student, an alter boy, and said "yes mam and no sir." It is true that often the anger towards the non-offending parent is greater than the anger at the offender. How could my mom not know that my father was molesting me when my mother's father molested her? This area is so complex. When my grandmother, in her 80s, learned about my father, she said, "I knew it, but I was too ashamed to say anything." (her use of the word ashamed is more like embarrassed.) In her 90s she learned that my brother, her beloved grandson, had molested me, and she had lots to say, but it started with, "How could he? I was watching you two all the time!" You want a parents' perspective? I did not have children, I knew in my teens that if I could not be protected, then I would not be able to protect a child. While my brother, the molester of me and 2 cousins that I know of, went on to have a family. See how generations are involved? I think that caring moms who miss the signs sometimes have a sense of self-blame. Other moms blame the child!