Sad, how the issue of sexual abuse either traumatic experiences or stories of parental protection.

My partner was never close to his stepfather because he felt he didn't treat his mom well at times. ie. as a teenager he tried to protect his mom from having objects thrown at her when his stepfather was drunk... He also felt his stepfather had a somewhat wandering eye for other ladies.

To cut to the chase, I did mention to him once that it was probably a good thing he never had a sister...she would have probably been abused by this guy. My partner agreed with me. Awful isn't it?

Needless to say, when I first knew my partner, he made sure his then teenage children never saw their grandfather. He really honestly felt he had to protect his children from any sexual abusive maneouvres, in his increased dementia. And no he never discussed his concerns with his mother, a gentle, honorable woman who died last year.

Anyway, I think it was better his children got to know their grandmother well and respect her wonderful values..which they did and honour memory of her.

I did meet his stepfather..only once briefly. And when I shook his hand..his gripped my hand abit hard...for a guy in his late 70's. I was already in my mid 30's. For all that I heard about the guy from my partner, I honestly didn't feel like getting to know the guy.

He died a few years later.
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This whole discussion emphasizes it can't be love as the priority for a child. It must complete safety from harm for a child as 1st PRIORITY, then followed by love for a child.

It must be a nightmare for any child not to feel safe in their own home if they are sexually abused by another family member.