Mij, you're right, you shouldn't have to own that book. However, it looks like there is a truth that has to be owned up to in order for the healing to begin/continue. You are courageous to recognize that truth. Sadly, I am not a "believer" in ideal, blissful, total and complete healing. I wish I could be proved wrong... I'd like to know what complete healing looks and feels like. I think that survivors can learn to be as fully-functioning as possible, and that means a different way for each one. Some are functioning if they get out of bed in the morning. I wonder often who I might have been had I not had those experiences. In my case, it was not so much that I was the weaker one. It was that I was the brighter one, the lighter brighter little being, and my brother wanted to snuff out my light, as did my father. Don't they say that vampires or is it devils that can't stand the light? Well, I don't want to steer this thread off into a direction not intended. This is a discussion that pertains to so, so many that it is sad, sad, sad.