I'm really glad the court employee at the court registry office, checked for you Kate. Keep us posted!

WhaHoo, finally something turns out the way it should. I am so happy for you Kate.

I came in to remind you of our friend Danita, both her kids left her home after the divorce as well, the son living with his father. But the son is back home now and seems from what danita posted to be doing great. Sometimes the bird must leave the nest to realize he/she is nothing more than cat food without their best friend and mother to watch over him/her...

Thanks Chatty, It's not over yet but he will find out it won't be as easy as he thought.
My daughter is at a very self indulgent stage in her life. It's all about friends. She can get away with more at her Dad's. I also expect more from her so I think she likes to be where nothing is expected of her and she can do what she wants. She may move back but I don't think it will be too soon.

She is living with her Dad, his girlfriend and two young very out of control step siblings. Her Dad is so busy with them that he has no time to see what she is up too. This has to be the case as she told me he is really annoying, they have no heat (ran out of oil) there is not much food and the only bathroom in the house is broken. So there must be a reason she is staying and I believe it is because she can basically do what she wants.

I'm concerned for her but I have to let her learn some lessons.
It has actually been really good for my youngest son and I. I have spent more time with him and he is much happier with his sister not living with us. He likes the one on one attention he gets and likes feeling like the man of the house. He is very loyal to me. I wanted him to try it at his Dad's house for his sake but he said he doesn't want to and wants to stay with me. We have actually been having some really nice evenings together.

So, good things sometimes come out of things that you think are terrible. I miss my daughter but it's ok that she is with her Dad for the time being. I just hope she doesn't make any lousy decisions but that will be up to her. She has been raised with a lot of guidance and I just have to trust that she will do the right thing.

Kate

Is she going to school ..to your knowledge?

Enjoy your time with your son.

Did you think that if you'd gotten another employee, you may not have gotten the good news? Glad he followed through. PHew!

I bet your son is loving life alone with you. As the middle child, this is a first and a rare opportunity as a middle. I'm glad you're able to see the good in this by enjoying tie with him.

The living conditions don't sound al that great for your daughter, but you're right, all she cares about at this stage are her friends. Is her friend still there?

Actually my son is the youngest child and can never get enough attention. He thrives on it.

My daughter and her friend were over tonight to watch a movie. They are always together.

Her friend is loud, overbearing, bossy, opinionated and I believe is somewhat controlling over my daughter. She also swears in my house. Tonight she barged in and took over the place and my son said "watch your language in my house" She dresses very provocative and I can't stand the fact that my daughter is living with her. But.....she needs to learn a lesson I guess. I think my ex let's her sleep over at her boyfriends. He mentioned something the other night that if she stays out he needs her home early in the morning to babysit. I said "if she stays out where? "she better not stay at the guys house". He said oh no I mean if she sleeps over at a friends. I believe he lets her do whatever she wants. I find this so scary.

I hope she comes to her senses soon. None of her friends like the girl she shares her room with in the basement and it's not that I don't like her, I just think she is a bad influence. She needs help herself but I don't want her affecting my daughter, but I guess it's too late for that. My son can't stand her friend either as she is quite disrespectful to him and talks to him like he is a little kid.

I remember my mother disapproved of all of my friends. She was very judgmental and still is. I only disapprove of one of my daughter's friends but I know if I say anything she will dig her heels in.

It's kind of hard to watch.

Kate

This will sound like a clueless question, but has your daughter heard directly from you recently, that you would love to have her back (just her, not her friend)?

would agree that critiquing of her friend (or any of her friends) won't get you anywhere.

In the end, she needs in greater priority, a friendly parent who does help her understand her limits. Being just her friend is 2nd priority.

Anyway, it must be hard at this time for you. When is the time deadline for her to decide to stay or come back?

Urg, this friend sounds like such a bad influence. Has your daughter maintained other friendships while hanging out with this gal? Does this gal have other friends? Just wondering why she's latched onto your daughter...

Orchid, my daughter knows I would prefer she live with me. I send her emails telling her I miss her and she comes over a fair bit. It's a fine line as I don't want to put pressure on her. I want it to be her decision, not have both parents pressuring her. She told me she knows with her Dad it's all about the money. She knows this yet continues to live with him. Why, because she can basically do what she wants, and it is worth it for the ex to let her friend stay with her so he doesn't have to pay me child support.

Dotsie, I think my daughter maintains some contact with her other friends but not alot. This friend I believe has latched on to her and it's not good. The other night I got them a movie which is really good for girls, self-esteem (Mona Lisa's Smile)
There are great messages in this movie. Not even 10 minutes in the friend says, this is so boring, let's watch one of my movies. So she changes it to some horrible kind of movie with no substance. I know if I watched it with my daughter she would have enjoyed it, but she sided with her friend.

I believe she has latched onto my daughter partly because they like each other, but more because she can control my daughter as her life is out of control. Also she can have no rules either by living at my ex's house. He uses them for free babysitters and lets them come and go as they please.

Kate

Do you know this friends parents? Ever spoken with them? Whats the story there?