Took my mother a week to thank me for my present to them. It was an "oh, by the way, thanks."

Tonight my parents and siblings are celebrating joint birthdays, I was the last to know and had other plans. They've been planning this for weeks and as usual I'm the last to know. My step-dad called to invite me. I am so angry. I have so much hate towards them.

Abusive parents. Greedy, selfish siblings. Child molesting uncles. Abusive grandparents. And yet, they are all pillars of their communities. I'm tired of it.

Told my step-dad to never contact me again. I'll stay in my county and they can stay in their county. I'm tired of being the last to know and rarely included. Their actions speak for themselves. He said, not don't act like that, don't say that, its not true. But it is.

I have no words to express how I feel. Except, that I'm alone and have been since I was molested as a child. I'm fearful of everything and have very little love left. I have hatred against the world and life. It really hurts to be born and abused since childhood. Why didn't they just give me up? Why continue the verbal and physical abuse. I was a child and kicked and slapped. Raped and did not know what it was in kindergarten and early grade school. I didn't know. It was not my fault.

It is so easy for an abuser/liar to deny the harm they've caused. But, it leaves the innocent angry and this is how the abuse cycle continues, too.

I am not a complete person because of their abuse. I don't trust, always questioning and doubting.

I just don't know what else to say. I'm empty. Void.