I just typed something else and don't know where it went.

I'll type it again. My kids have lived with me since my eldest was 11 and my younger two were in diapers. I travel with work 3 to 4 times per year and have done for the past 8 years.

Since I began a long distant relationship three years ago I have also gone away on week long trips in the summer and once or twice in the fall. I take my kids away for two weeks every summer.

When they were younger they stayed with their grandma while I was on work trips. After age 12 I asked them where they wanted to stay and Dad was more convenient, close by the school etc. Not once did they stay at their Dads. While I was away they would stay with friends, every time.

This past summer when I was away they both stayed at my house much to my dismay when I found out. My ex said he knew nothing about it. When I asked him where they stayed on other occasions and this occasion he said " I don't have any idea but they didn't stay with me"

I said well didn't you think to check on them and see if they were at my house. He said no.

This is the kind of Dad he is. Buries his head in the sand,let's them do what they want and this is why I have concerns.

I don't get it though. Why would they say they want to live with him now when they never stayed there while I was away. It would have been a perfect opportunity for them to see what living with him would be like.

I'm really stumped.