Thanks and I appreciate the response. I am looking at it as a loss which is probably not the best.

In the meantime my friend called me. She lives in a big house and her husband is going into care. He is 18 years older. She can't afford the mortgage by herself and his pension will go to the care facility. She suggested I give the kids a month at their Dads. If they want to stay I could move in with her for a year but the kids would have to understand that. She is never home as she works as a live in caregiver with only one day at the house.

I'd have to put my stuff into storage but the rent would be half of what I pay now. I could get out of debt and will have the time to work on myself. So there is a positive. It will be hard but I know the kids want to try living at their Dads. If they stay after a month they will have to stay for a full year, there will be no turning back. I will make that clear.

At this point I am raw, totally confused and in shock. But change is happening faster than I can keep up with it.

I understand where you are coming from Dotsie and Anno, I just feel really hurt but know that it is not about me.

My kids will always be my kids. The other thing is when my son gets out of jail he won't be able to come home. I am not going to tell him where I'm living either.
Kate