I began responding to this earlier and had to go pick up my daughter. You've since posted again. Sorry about that.

I certainly understand your not wanting it to work out. You love your children and want them with you, but it sounds like you don't have much say in this.

While I know it's miserably sad, maybe you're being given a time to explore your midlife and consider what the future holds for YOU!. How about joining a group of interest, maybe taking a class, or doing something for yourself.? You've been a care giver for many years. There's certainly more within you than those qualities.

If there's a way for you to do it, (and I'm not sure I could) how about giving them your blessing. I have a feeling they may be back, but perhpas this is a break you could use? I know it's not what you want, but if you put a diferent spin on it and see it as a positive for you, it just might be.