I, for one, am all for legal gay marriage. I feel the bigotry against gays has to end, and now.

Why are these states saying "okay," to gay marriage and then retracting their own laws?
What is up with this?

Whatever is wrong with two people who love eachother committing themselves to eachother for life?

Anyone care to educate me as to why the people keep swinging back and forth on this subject? I'm afraid that where I've spent my life, the gay life is a given and really, everywhere. Dance and entertainment is very open to gays and always has been.

I do not understand the other side. I thought I might take this time to ask others why there is such a problem here.
I truly do not get it.

Dancer

Hard subjects are okay, right?

Dancer, I don't think people are swinging back and forth on the issue. It's the same people with the same thoughts and values.

The problem (in California) is that the mayors of some cities, such as San Francisco, legalize gay marriage, and then someone takes it to the courts, where recently a judge found it was valid.

But the mayor and the judge don't make the laws. So when it is put to a vote of the people (our recent Prop 8), it gets voted down. This has happened twice in California in recent years.

So I do think it's the same people butting heads with the same people, over and over.

I believe the main people who are against gay marriage are against it for religious reasons, or even their own personal values. They probably feel that if gay marriage becomes an accepted union, it will affect their children and actually, some just think it's "wrong" for two men or two women to be together.

Personally, I feel that what you do in the privacy of your own home is up to you, so I really don't care if they get married or not. In fact, I feel that it will eventually be legalized and better accepted, but will take time.

I compare it to when blacks and white wanted to get married, and the stigma against that. I remember in high school we had two kids with a white mom and a black dad. That was so shocking back then, and now, in California, it's very common. Not sure about other states.

Eventually, gay marriage will be accepted as well - I believe - but it will take quite a lot of time.

The gay friends I have say its more for legal reasons than anything else, that no little piece of paper makes a marriage more or less legal in the eyes of the two people involved BUT in societies eyes they are not legal without said piece of paper. Look at the men/women marriages that statics show end 1 out of every 2 in divorce or worse...Some example huh?

For instance, a male friend was in hospital near death last year from an auto accident and his male partner (for over 8 years) was not allowed in the room with im, ONLY family. He was devastated and until his partners mother arrived from out of town the hospital held fast. That man could have died and he never would have even known his partner was there. There are other legal reasons as well which I am unfamilar with.

I agree with DD, its no ones business or concern. How the hell can gays getting married or not getting married affect other peoples children??? Thats just dumb! But its what we Americans do, worry about everybody elses business instead of looking inward to ourselves, we all have plenty of our own problems to work on without nosing into everyone elses...

I question the institution of marriage; period.
When divorces are skyrocketing, and so many people have to remain together because of their vows, although they are miserable,...I ask myself why the heck get married? They say we will all reach at least 80 years old. 100 isn't all that uncommon. Are we really made to stay with one person for 50 years or more? The institution of marriage has practically died out in France.
So, if children aren't a reason to marry,...then I don't get it. Is the divorce rate among gays the same as with hetros? Worse or less? That would be interesting.

Another thing; Wouldn't it be simpler to change the hospital rules about visiting rights,...then forcing people to marry just so they can get around those ridiculous rules.

I'm glad to see that others agree with me.
I also read from you, why others may oppose gay marriage, for example, the religious reasons, etc...

I hope you are right, Dolfin, and it will become accepted in the future. It's another area where it separates people and denies rights to people.

I have a hard time with it. I'm pleased everytime a state legalizes it and then I am sad when they vote it down. My own state voted it down last election.

Ignorance is not bliss and this is another area of bigotry, I guess and ignorance causes people to be afraid of people.

It breaks my heart that the gays are so far behind others in civil rights. At least there are hate crime laws now, etc...

Thanks for the posts!

Dancer9

I don't know why iv been tipie toeing around this topic but i have lol

EW divorce rates are hard to come bu as if theirs no marriage thers no way to become divorced, (or need to become) so it onlie be figures avalible for certine places and i gess some of you states.

IN the UK their is no marrage its a CIVAL PARTNERSHIP (cp) which is the cerimony that male female gays have acess to. That dose give or grant hopital rights, inherantanse or wil right, rights over the children that one partner may have but the other is activlie rasing, tyhe right to change or joine second names etc. So its better than nuthing but dose't grant same rights as marriage legalie or even in the minds of people generallie. Love can be viewed as a second rate commonitie depending upon whom one loves.

As far as i know NO ONE in uk has undone their CP. It takes two years before the undoing process can begine after a CP, imagine the potencial press when someone dose legalie undo the CP and felling of opps "iv let the whole team dowen" I am sure it will happen soon though, sadlie.

Im a bit sadend that a cp is not the same as a marrage (church or registrie) and wonder if its a bit like given someone a hamburger instead of a sirloine steack. I say this as its a token jester to shut the activist dowen or shut them up, secondlie some people will be happie to settle for something and others are ignorant and assume a cp is the same as a marrage.

The hospital thing and changing the policies within a hopital and how they work conserning same sex partners IS I AGREE a much better idea than having to marrie to get faire treatment or acess to your partner in life death situasions or around visting rights or even around access to infomation regarding how well or the progress of your partner while in hopsital. Ther has to be some underlying laws but i sure the hospitals can work thhis out. Or when all else fails tell Lies and say oh i the brother/sister of said person. That onlie works if the blood familie accept the other partner or their relatives sexualitie. When their conflict then their no way at all or if partner was in coma and thir blood familie contest the sexual partner being their then they be turthed out.

I not sure the whole extent of why its got to be blood or tradisional marrige partners that can onlie have thse rights or the underlyings laws their trying to hold up.


its is just sad and id agree with dancer and chattie its just withholding of cival rights regardless of religion or someones objections or views on someone elses lifes.

dancing dolphine

thanks for the information and explinasion as to what appers to be constent mind changing lol i din't know it worked that way for some states.

I am sure any sub group goes through the same process of acceptanse and regognision, compasion for situasion and after a long time legal protection granting of rights, finalie finalie finalie to move from legale to proper acceptanese at a hart and mind level of people outside this said group.

I have never been legally married. Since I did not want any children, I saw no point in getting married.

I believe if a person wants to get married, they should be able to do so. If they don't want to, that's okay too.

I agree with you, Anno. People should be allowed to conduct
their own lives as they see fit providing they're not hurting
anyone else. I have friends who contend, and I guess I've said this before, "People should be able to marry whomever they want." It's a cliche, but nobody gets a dress rehearsal at merely living. Folks ought to be able to be happy through their earthly existence. IMO!

ANNO

do you think any of your not wanting to get married to do with your dads ancestrie?

manie women i know from their also don't rate marriage.

Anyway anything becomes more attractive if you can't do it. So marrige becomes a big issue amoungst the gays, well most of them and all thats political. I talked to a good few scandinavian women who wonder "why on earth youd get married" the pointing out the not being allowed to therie makes sense to them but not to them in their life.

prettie cool when people see its not for me but i support you in it being for you, type of thing.