Right on, Dancer (sheese, did I really say right on?). Yes, we white middle class people do have a culture. We, until recent years, have just never had to define it.

My culture means being with family on birthdays and holidays. It values a traditional education, including college degrees. It means loving a meal with a meat, vegetable, fruit, starch and dessert portion. It also means learning what others cultures find valuable.

My culture consists of mainly Christians, but with a few Jews and Muslims and non-believers thrown in and fully accepted. My culture relishes being stoic and strong at all times, but accepts those of us that fall and need help.

There is more, so much more. I have just begun to define my culture. I will not put it down. It ain't perfect, but it is a part of what I am.

How about the rest of you white americans? How would you begin to define your culture?

Seek...please see your private message from me. Thanks, JJ

What has happened to seek? I was enjoying her thoughtful and thought-provoking posts, and now have seen in two discussions that she's being censored. I'm sorry -- have I missed something? Are there new censorship rules? Can we know what these rules are?

It seemed to me that seek had even drawn out people who haven't posted in a long time.

Communication very much includes context. These discussions have been about the larger communicative contexts where we each dwell, and these discussions exist in a context as well. it would be proper to inform everyone on here specifically, under what conditions are we allowed to speak and specifically, what topics are tabu. The top of this page says this is "a place for women to share from the heart." How can anyone share from the heart when we're not sure why a "boomer sister" has been suddenly muzzled?

DJ,

You are misunderstanding the situation. SHE WAS NOT CENSORED.

She choose to remove herself after she apparently got a nasty-gram from someone. I'm not sure of the situation entirely but I can assure you, she was NOT censored by Dotsie or myself. We have enjoyed her post and hope she will continue.

my welcome thread seems to be locked. not sure why. but i want to get this in before i am banned.

yes, i had a culture . . . i just rejected it from childhood. the white suburban culture of my youth was ok for a young kid, because it was "safe" and i had material things. but as soon as i could think for myself, i realized how alienating it was. it was not healthy . . . it was void of traditions. the traditions we did have were very scitzoid (spelling) . . .what i mean is that they were souless because they were so void of any meaning. thanksgiving was about eating, not giving thanks to anyone or anything. christmas was about presents (and my mom is pissed this year that we are doing homemade gifts because we want more of the spirit of the holiday - for her it is all about gifts, dammit!) easter was about easter bunnies, even though we went to church. yes, we went to church, but we never spoke of religion or god in my house. we never volunteered to help anyone (well, i did, associated with church, but my parents never mentioned it).

we did not celebrate birthdays until i became an adult and started those traditions.

even the regular mealtimes were all about filling your gullet and nothing about communicating.

i didn't even know my own brother. i never went to any of his sports games and he lettered in three sports.

so my culture was about living in a nice, safe neighborhood, filled to the brim with white people who did not talk to or interact with each other, going to church with my mother who was another religion but had to take me because of a deal she made with my dad - who only went on holidays, having absolutely no discussion about anything in my household - not learning any cooking, cleaning, or life skills. hearing that mexicans were stupid and dirty from my mom . . . and that my dad didn't like portugese people (no reason was ever given). that was my white culture upbringing. nothing to be proud of.

no gifts of my parents cultures . . . no food, no customs, nothing. and the new customs were simply consumerism and "we're better than they are."

Seek, as I just told you in a PM, I'm not sure why you think you would be banned as you have done nothing wrong. I'm at a loss with that statement.

i was confused that my personal, introductory forum had been locked without my consent. that felt a little censoring of me and to me.

The locked topic was to protect you until we could resolve the issue, not to harm you. I thought by you posting out in the forums, you need our help. I thought my PM to you explained why it was locked. Apparently, I did a poor job of it.

It is unlocked now. I read your post and hear you, loud and clear. However, let me say that our rules still stand. If you have a problem with someone in the forums, your recourse, whether it is popular or not, is to take it to Dotsie via email, or myself.

We would appreciate your cooperation.

ok. i have a little bit of a problem with your way of resolving things because i don't like to triangulate . . . don't like the idea of "tattling to mommy" and having "mommy" take care of it. i would rather do it myself. but i understand this is the way you handle these things, so at least i am in the know now.

And the mommy's thank you