50 is the new 40, as long as you look 40! If you look 50 then its just 50! I wanna make-over. I'll stand in that glass box and have everyone point and stare and comment on my brown teeth and blotchy skin if it means I can have a make-over. I don't mean a tube of lipstick and a new hair-do that only looks good when a professional does it either. I'm talking lifts, tucks, implants, veneers, the full monty. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with looking surprised, it must be better than being invisible.

I have a beautiful spirit but no one notices it because if is wrapped in 53 year old, sun damaged skin. Everyone knows that presentation is everything. You don't present a gorgeous diamond in a gunny sack.

Ok, Louie notices my beautiful spirit, but only if I have turkey in my hand. Louie is my daughters 135 lb. dog!

I don't know if it's much consolation, but WE notice your beautiful spirit. In fact, it's dazzling!

I used to feel so invisible. Still do sometimes. I'm 53 too. The only time I don't feel invisible and wish I was is when my rosacea breaks out and puts big red blotches all over my face. (But that doesn't happen anymore ever since my brother bought me Proactiv).

Anyway, I've decided I don't want a makeover, I just want to fix the "wiring in the attic". I wish there were plastic surgeons who could makeover my mind and spirit as easily as they makeover boobs and tummies!

Heya Quirky!

Invisible does NOT feel good...I've felt invisible at various times in my life and while it should be enough for us to know within ourselves that we have something to offer others...sometimes its just NOT enough and we feel the need for confirmation and affirmation from folks we come in contact with.

Hey Eagleheart...that mind and spirit makeover might just be the thing!!

i recall feeling "invisible" as a small child on the playground (didn't know that's what it was but remember back to first or second grade and recall the feeling of just one incident - imagine if it were constant).

then, in my late forties, i recall feeling it again . . .i had been attractive in my youth and early adulthood, so got lots of positive feedback based on the exterior. when the shell began aging and i no longer got the positive feedback, i recall feeling invisible and i was very angry about it for a long time.

i finally came to terms with not valuing myself by my looks or what people thought or didn't think of me, but it took a long time (i am sixty-ish).

can you say more about what it is like for you and what is going on with you around this issue? only if it is comfortable, of course.

i am young one on heer but i heer couse i love ya all lol.

i turned 40 in november, (yes a scorpio lolplezzzzzzzz don't hate me for that) my frend told me 40 was the new 50. Another frebnd left my companie after a night out shouting great and happie belate 30th! thing is turning 30 was a drama for me, 40 was no probes apart from fact my 4 neralie 5 yr old son keeps tell everyone my number (age) as its the same as his with a 0 ie i am 4 my mums a 4...0 fourtie lol. when i sit dowen next to him on the sofa he says "my your getting so big now!" becouse i tell him this with preide lol.

did i just go off on a ramble lol oppps.

i got new glasses recentlie, trying them on in the shop and talking to other custemers having a bit of fun and whishing i had a mate with me for a second oppinion, i was chatting to this women about 50 or so./ we chatted complimented each other on styles she just before leaving said " sure, don't know why i bothering to be fussie, who's looking at me anyway" my hart sank for her and for the fact this thing bleeding dose happen!

i also made te transision to something els internale being more value for me but now adays i have found myself wonderring weer my cheekbones and jawline went to and why thers not the same room above my eye for eyshadow thse days, also changies in skin means no more poweder (makes my lines perminent lol well more so) when i was young and i gess taking it for granted none of this mattered now its going, its udenlie becomming important.

witness this ladies! poppie on heer promised she buy me a face lift and a tummie tuck when she finished her studies and gets rich and famouse, (rich would be enough lol) rember she said it i just writting so you tell her off if she dose't keep her word in about 3 years lol

seriouslie i have pulled bits of my extra bits about and wondered if id actulie have the guts and peace of mind to go do something cosmetic in several years time, i don't know if i could.

iv a currentlie great hairstyle that dose't have me invisable but sometimes i do get the wrong type of attension lol and sometimes too much attension.

back to subject generallie i resent living such a youth focused culture, id love more positive and attractive trates assosiated with women and agein. falling that we are left with having to change our attitudes to looks or finding somethin within ourselfs thats valuable and uniquike. Can it trulie be done i wonder without a feeling of a consilasion prise becouse looks have gone.

has anyone had those types of surgerie?

i am ramblin as its now 9 on christmass eve morning and iv had 3 or 4 hours sleep so excouse me

Quirkyalone, I was lying in bed early this morning (3am insomnia) thinking about events of the day, and I wandered back to this thread. I wondered if my comment about your beautiful spirit being "dazzling" came across too glib - it's one of those words that could be taken different ways. I meant it in the most beautiful way. Ever since you arrived here, I've noticed how carefully you listen to others here, and your responses and posts have been caring and sensitive. For me, there are some voices in the world that radiate such a beautiful light, and that's what I "see" when you speak. Since I am working my way through another wee bout of depression right now, every flicker of light that touches my heart is welcome and healing. I don't want to minimize your pain or sense of invisibility in any way (I so understand), but I also didn't want to keep my impression of you to myself...I, for one, DO see the dazzling diamond behind whatever "gunny sack" your eyes see.

You are all so sweet.

Eagle, I to suffer from depression but thankfully found antidepressants in my early 40's. I personally think they shoule put prozac in the water supply. To h*** with floride! I also have bouts of insomnia, where I wake up and worry about what I did or did't say, not to mention, did I forget to feed the cat! I didn't see your comment as glib at all. I assumed you are one of those rare people that see the 'good' in everyone!

Seek: I have felt alone at different times in my life for different reasons. The isolation of being a young mother and not knowing other people in the same life space and with a husband that did not talk to me or seem to notice me. I moved on and found the love of my life. After 5 years of my never doing anything right I had learned to protect my heart by not caring anymore and with wine. It has been 2 years and I am making my bed again and combing my hair! I have a wonderful life. I am doing the job I was meant to do (not making any money at it, but that is another thread) I have a beautiful home with a view of my pond. etc. etc. But, I want someone to share it with. Just to sit on the porch and discuss the days events.

I even tried all of the dating sites but I don't seem to interest anyone except men 20 years older than I. My first husband was 17 years my senior. Been there done that. The dating thing is for the worst dates thread .

I feel that if it isn't shared then it isn't real. That isn't quite right but can't think of how to put it.

I will have to finish this saga later as my daughters Birthday cake is ready to come out of the oven. Yes, she was born Christmas morning!

oh yes, i forgot about how it feels to be isolated at home with kids. for me it was "alone in suburbia" (another reason why i hate suburbia).

i understand what you are saying about wanting to share with someone. do you journal?

there are things i would like to do with someone that i might never get to do and that kind of stinks.

most of the time i accept things (and then sometimes i don't!)

thanks for sharing and have a happy celebration!

Eagle Heart is right, everyone has beauty, it's from the inside!

Seek, sometimes little things can make the big difference.
If you want any help in that, I can help you.

The surgery is a big step and one must think about losing respect of those they know. Wrinkles can be beautiful, I see it all the time in aging models.

But there are things, the slightest thing, like new glasses, etc... that can make a difference.

I'm all about that feild because of being forced into it at a young age. If I can help, let me know, or go to the fashion forum and ask questions, there are many who may have good ideas.

Maybe you just need a few tweaks and changes made?

In the meantime, remember, character is beautiful. The most beautiful person can become ugly before your eyes when they start to talk!

Warmest regards,
Dancer